A year has passed, since my sister Patricia died. Slowly, imperceptibly, it seems, healing is taking place. I think of her daily and, though the hole in my heart is still felt, the pain is not as great.
I read something recently about grief, and how, when help is sought, treatment given might be as for one suffering from depression. According to the psychologist and writer of the article – they are not the same thing, and should not be treated in the same way.
However, when we let our pain and grief take us to a dark place, then professional help should be sought. Grieving is a necessary process to cope with loss, but when it consumes us, when it prevents us from living our lives, it can spiral down into a dark depression that is far more serious than grief. I chose to look at this subject because many of my friends and acquaintances have lost loved ones recently. In this past year, so many of your family members and so many of our parish family have died. We are surrounded by those who have lost spouses, siblings, parents and children. Death is never an easy thing to face, but hopefully we can find comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our sorrow and loss, this is a part of life that we all encounter.
In our travels recently, my husband and I attended mass at St. Mary of the Assumption, in Huntsville, and, as I love to do, I took one of their bulletins, just to see how others do things. Right in the middle of the first page was a quote that touched my heart: “Those who die…are no further from us than God, and God is very near.”
I believe this to be true and I think this is why the pain is lessening. I often feel Patti’s presence. Sometimes it’s a nudging; pushing me to do and try things I have not done before. Other times it’s her voice, “Really, you’re going to wear that?” My sister had a delightful sense of humour and that is what I miss most, that and our long phone conversations that left us aching from laugther; our ears hurting from holding the phone against them for hours at a time.
Yes, loss is painful, but life continues on in spite of our loss and grief. The world moves forward and we must move with it; move beyond ourselves. Easter approaches and our faith calls us to rejoice – in the Good News, in the Risen Christ, and in our departed loved ones sharing in God’s promise!