Show Love
Every month for the last year, on the second Tuesday, I have joined a group of women (my high school graduating class) for a zoom. It’s been fascinating learning about their lives; what they have done; where they have gone; who they have become. They always have questions for me about Canada, and I love telling them about this amazing country I now call home.
This past Tuesday I could not participate in the zoom; this past Tuesday I was overcome with a deep sorrow for this country, and I knew I would not be able to articulate it to these women – this country I am so very proud to live in and call home. I still love it with all my heart, but I did not have words to defend the events that have come to light in recent days, and so, instead of chatting with my friends, my husband, our dog and I went for a long pondering walk.
Personally, I do not know anyone with racist views, but I’m not naïve enough to believe racism does not exist; is not rampant in this country. What I find particularly disturbing is that people of power and authority; medical professionals and care-givers; those who have the opportunity to show love and compassion, in some instances, are often found to demonstrate hate and brutality.
I don’t know what we can do as individuals. My go to solution is always prayer, but more is required to deal with this ongoing, ugly side of our society, I think. Love is another way to show support and solidarity – a simple smile given to someone who, for the most part, feels left out, isolated, unloved by the majority of people they encounter. Give a smile and a kind word. Do not ignore people who are not like you, who do not speak the way you do, or look the way you look. It’s a tiny step, but it’s a beginning. Show love…and pray for our country.
Categories
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
Come, Holy Spirit
Early on, when I first began writing pieces for the bulletin, a compliment was given and my response, which I no longer remember, brought forth this reply from a parishioner – ‘That’s the Holy Spirit’s doing.’ Wow. I’m pretty slow at times, but when she said that, I felt it and I knew that it was true.
Sometimes, when I’m thinking and praying, I often don’t distinguish which of the Three-Persons-in One I’m addressing, I just think – God. But since it was brought to my attention that the Holy Spirit was often at work in my writing, I now pray directly to the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and help me to make my words clear. Just because we go through this ritual each time – it doesn’t always bring success. That’s through no fault of Spirit’s – it’s all on me. I may get distracted; I may have my own agenda; or I’m simply not paying attention. Isn’t that often the case in everything we do? Paying attention is crucial.
The Holy Spirit also guides me – when I’m paying attention – in my conversations with others, especially with my kids and grandkids. Saying the right thing at the right moment can make all the difference in helping to ease tension, or bring to light a different perspective – not with preaching, but with Spirit-filled words of love and understanding.
The Holy Spirit is a powerful force in our lives which, if you’re like me, may sometimes go ignored. We should never ignore the urgings of the Holy Spirit. In Acts, the Spirit is depicted as a wind, or a tongue of fire. Within each of us, I think, it most often comes in a different form – a nudge, perhaps; a push to say or to act in a way that is pleasing to God. It sounds easy, doesn’t it? If we are led by the Spirit we will remain on the right path. So what happens? How do we get so lost sometimes?
We forget to pray. Prayer should always be an essential practice in a life of faith. If we choose to be led and not to lead, guidance from the Holy Spirit, through prayer, is key.
On a slightly (but not entirely) different topic – I have been using these very quiet lockdown, pandemic days, to compile my bulletin pieces. I’m attempting to put them into book form, as a fundraiser for the new rectory. It’s a slow project and, at times, a frustrating pastime. Did you know I had recycled some of these pieces, giving them different titles? I had forgotten. Say a prayer to the Holy Spirit for me, to lead and guide me in this endeavor – for its success in generating necessary funds. Thank you and God bless.
Categories
Find the Joy
I know, I know, it’s becoming more and more difficult to remain positive. For over a year we’ve been locked down and isolated – from our loved ones…from our former lives. Turmoil and confusion are the general order of the day, but let’s not despair. There are two things happening right now that we can look to with joy and hope: the blessed season of Easter…and the perennial season of spring!
I love the Acts of the Apostles; reading Acts is like having a front row seat in the planning stages of the early Church: the apostles working everything out; remembering and following Jesus’ direction. The words are infused with the excitement of these new Christians; a contagious energy that can’t help but fill us with the same excitement and joy.
The gospels unfold in a similar way, beginning with the Apostles hiding behind locked doors, despairing Jesus’ death. We see their fear and disbelief at his initial appearance; timid and uncertain at first, eventually they are filled with a joy that gives them a sense of power and purpose. The readings during the Easter season are Good News indeed!
At exactly the same time, the temperature is rising outside. Flowers are showing themselves and the buds on the trees are more pronounced with each new day. The days are longer too allowing us to enjoy the outdoors without freezing to death. Go for a walk, listen to the birds and the peepers and find joy as God renews the face of the earth.
Since we can’t be with our families, we need distractions to keep us from dwelling on that fact. How about sending cards or letters to your grandchildren – going completely old school? Ask them to write back. Begin new traditions. COVID-19 will forever be the turning point in our lives. From here on in, stories and events will be remembered as pre-COVID and post-COVID. Begin new practices with your family that will continue post-COVID. Prayer is always a good place to start. Prayer centers us, and directs us away from ourselves to the needs of others, and during this pandemic everyone needs our prayers! There are those who are sick with the virus, those with cancer whose operations and treatments have been compromised and, in some cases, delayed; there are those with anxiety issues that are heightened during these frightening times. In addition to all of this, we have people who, though understandably angry and fed up, are thwarting our best efforts, leaving us discouraged and confused. We all need prayer!
Jesus, the Good Shepherd, will not abandon us. The last day I was able to attend Mass, these words in the Preface Acclamation (Holy, holy, holy) jumped out at me: Heaven and earth are full of your glory, and it’s true. By remaining positive we will see it. Pray those words aloud: Heaven and earth are full of your glory! Then get some fresh air – get outside and find the glory…find the joy! by Margery Frisch
Categories
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
Faith and Gratitude
What does prayer, fasting and alms giving look like in a pandemic? We may feel we have sacrificed enough in the past year to fill a lifetime of Lents. But have we really?
Lockdown is difficult, stay at home orders infringing on our freedom; our inability to see, hold our kiss our children and grandchildren. Yes, these are tremendous sacrifices, but I don’t think they’d get us off the hook where Lent is concerned.
All this staying at home, all this ceasing of our normal routines…this is a wonderful opportunity to stop the busyness; to think and to pray. Ok, parents with children, trying to work from home while helping their kids with online learning…your busyness has not stopped for a second. In fact, it’s probably increased, along with your stress level. Then there are those who have been out of work; their places of employment shut down for months, or shut down for good. The homeless are still homeless, their situation made worse by the closing of institutions they rely on for help.
But we all can look at this time as an opportunity to put our faith and trust in God. Our worrying does nothing to help the situation; neither does our complaining. Our gratitude and our prayers can be a miraculous boost to our spirits, as well as a gift to others.
What do we have to be grateful for in the midst of a pandemic? The beauty of the sun glinting off the frost covered trees; the pristine quality of new fallen snow; the fact that, after almost a year in each other’s constant presence, we can still find joy in being with our spouse. Maybe that’s not everyone…perhaps you’re tired of each other’s constant company; maybe you hate the snow, but look deep down within and you will find those things for which you are grateful. Then thank God in prayer.
Fasting – or depriving ourselves of those things which give us pleasure, is a way of helping us to focus our attention on God. That feeling of deprivation should remind us of what we are doing and why, keeping God forever close.
Our local organizations have been struggling with all the shutdowns, making their fundraising efforts all the more challenging – in some cases, more work for half the reward. Be generous in your alms giving. Even if your finances have been strained, a few dollars, given by us all, would be a tremendous boost to places like Safe ‘N Sound, OSHaRE, the local food bank, and the Grey Bruce Pregnancy Centre. There’s much we can do in a pandemic, to make the world a better place. Whatever you do throughout this Lenten season, do it with gratitude in your heart, a prayer on your lips and, most especially, do it with love.
Categories
Knocking on Heaven’s Door
It’s Never too Late
When I came off the island in 1978, people told me I had to write a book about the experience. I did like to write – papers in college; essays on exams, letters to my family…but a book? ‘Write it now,’ my brother advised, ‘before too much time passes and you romanticize it all.’
How much time is too much time? I was newly married and, though I thought about it a lot, time slipped by. Then the babies came and time seemed non-existent. My toddlers kept me busy; my husband was baffling. I began to write, but not about the island, I wrote about them. Our local newspaper offered me a weekly column and for six years I wrote about my husband and sons – A Day in the Life – it was popular. Periodically, I would think about that island experience –If only I wasn’t writing a weekly column, then I’d be able to focus on it.
We sold our house, we moved. I thought, perhaps now is the time… But I began another column – Building Dreams, as that crazy husband of mine, who had just undergone back surgery – a spinal fusion – allowing for just the exact number of months to rest, began building our new house. That column went on for several years, the kids were growing older, into sports and other activities and I was working…who had time to write about an island experience that was now so very many years in the past?
An acquaintance walked across Canada, raising awareness for the unborn – she walked across Canada! When she came home she was asked to speak about her experience. I went to hear what she had to say. And I waited to talk to her afterward.
‘Have you thought of writing a book about your experience?’ I asked her, ‘because I’d love to help you write it.’ So I helped Therese write her book – Fire Under Foot – it took years, but we got it done. I now had a book in print! But it was not mine. Why couldn’t I write about my own experience?
The kids moved to Toronto for their studies and finally, I turned to my journal – now decades old. More than another decade would slip by; a shooting on that very island where I had once taught; a writing group to whip me into shape, and a pandemic to glue me to my chair. This is what it took to finally write my book, proving to me that it’s never too late.
And now you’re all caught up.
Categories
Patience People!
We’ve been spending a lot of time together, my husband and I. When there’s a pandemic on, there aren’t a lot of options. I’ve discovered he sucks in air through his teeth when he’s engrossed in a project – annoying? It was, but after 11 months, I hardly notice any more. He begins to tell me something, but he’s building a fire in the wood stove at the same time, so a quick little story turns into a lengthy 20 minute, huge-quiet-gaps-in-between ordeal. Let’s not get him started on all the annoying things I am capable of doing and saying – fortunately, we can laugh…and we do, and that’s a blessing.
So many people are complaining these days and it’s easy to join in. But heaping negativity on top of restrictions and closures – is this helpful? I think it brings us all down, makes us listless and lethargic and completely unproductive. Not only does this make the unpleasantness worse – it’s unhealthy. We are in a pandemic – have you ever been in a pandemic before? No. None of us have. No one knows quite what to do – infectious diseases experts, government officials – they’re all flying by the seat of their pants, trying to figure this out. It’s complicated, ever-changing and, at times, deadly. Our complaining only makes it worse.
So what are some of the coping strategies we might try, to help us get through this in a healthier manner? Well first and foremost – we have lots of time to pray. Everyone needs prayer – our frontline workers; the elderly; those with addictions and mental illness; priests and minsters and all who are alone and frightened. Let us pray. We also have time to call people, to see if we can help them in any way…picking up groceries or medications, just talking to them on the phone. Get out and walk, read a good book, learn a new language. Watch movies or shows that make you laugh – laughing, especially during these difficult times, is very important.
If we search for the good, the positive in every day, I guarantee we will find it. My daughter-in-law posted on social media the other day how proud she was of her children – ‘they griped and complained before Christmas about returning to virtual classes, but every morning, they are there, present and attentive and ready to get their assignments done.’ Good for them, and good for her – for seeing the positive and sharing it. My other son and his wife embarked on a fitness campaign which they soon discovered made a huge difference not only in their physical health, but in their mental health as well – win/win.
Instead of complaining about the ‘buy 2 for $4 / buy 1 for $3,” the new practice all the grocery stores have adopted – get the two instead of one and see if there’s anyone in the checkout who might need that extra bag of onions or potatoes…or maybe bring them down to your nearest soup kitchen.
Sitting around complaining will not help us – sitting and praying will. Then let’s get out and do some good.
When I first learned this year’s hunt would not be taking place up north, but practically in our own backyard – I headed to a quiet place to pray. I tried to erase those thoughts of many years ago; the last time the hunt took place down here; the time when it rained solidly for a week and I would come home to find damp, smelly camo gear spread throughout the downstairs. I tried to blot out those 5:00 o’clock mornings – feet stomping, chairs scraping across the kitchen floor, my husband ‘creeping’ back into the bedroom wielding a flashlight, whispering, ‘Go back to sleep,’ then turning on the overhead light to find what he was looking for. I tried not to think of the peaceful simplicity of that brief respite I enjoyed when the hunt took place up north. Why couldn’t they go up north this year? I pleaded to God in prayer. Your husband is getting older, he said, camping is cold and uncomfortable. Why can’t you be more tolerant?
Wow, that was unexpected. I had come to the Lord for sympathy, clearly he intended this to go a different way. I concluded a change in attitude was in order. My impatience, to which God is constantly drawing my attention, would need to checked at the door each and every morning.
So, rather than try to sleep in, I got up at 5:00 with the hunters – my husband, son, and one other guy. I joined in the morning banter. I joined them at lunch on Monday, when I was home. I was cheery and encouraging. I swept up the mud they tracked in and cleaned up the kitchen – on Monday.
By Thursday, I confess, I was exhausted and when I came home from work to find a kitchen filled with dirty dishes, I was more than a tad annoyed. While I made dinner, I muttered things to God, hoping this time he’d be on my side. He was non-communicative. That in itself sent a message. It stopped me in my tracks.
At dinner, in a calm and quiet voice, I asked if they continued to take a two hour lunch break, as they had on Monday. Both my husband and son nodded their heads, unaware. And no one had time to deal with all those dirty dishes? I was not angry, I was simply doing with them what God had done with me – he made me stop and think, I was trying to do the same for them, and they got it.
Communication with God and each other is vitally important in keeping peace. Both cases require us to pay attention and listen – to the words, but also to the silence. And at all times – pray.
Margery Frisch
Categories
All You Need is Love
There’s a sign that I drive past on my way to work every day, it reads: This billboard available and there’s a phone number in large digits. Would it seem I was squandering money to rent that space to say – the Beatles were right, all you need is love…but Jesus said it first! Now that I have this in my head, I smile every time I see that sign. One day, I’ll get the nerve (and the money) to do it!
I’ve been reading a book in which I thought the author said the opposite of love is fear. I was sure that’s what he said, because in my mind I immediately thought – no, the opposite of love is hate. When I went back to check this fact, I couldn’t find that statement anywhere. He says we need to transform fear into love; he says fear and love cannot exist within us at the same time, he never says one is the antithesis of the other. But let’s look at it that way for a moment (since I had so many thoughts already rolling around in my head with that point of view).
When we consider all the civil unrest happening around us – are these actions driven by hate, or fear? Is fear perhaps the very thing that feeds the hate which drives the violence? How can we stop the cycle? We might think it’s impossible for us, ourselves, to do anything to stop this madness. But let’s think again. Do we take part in hateful, hurtful dialogue on Facebook? Do we get into heated discussions with people who don’t think the same way we do? Do we get angry just thinking about these people who express views different than our own? How can we change this pattern? We should always consider, if we think things need changing, how we ourselves might change. How can we bring more positivity into the world around us?
If we take a moment, in quiet prayer and meditation, we’ll soon realize – love is key. We can’t always agree with everyone, even by educating ourselves; trying to see things from another’s perspective. But we can accept their thoughts and opinions with love. Jesus got angry on occasion, but he did not lash out at everyone who opposed his teachings; love was at the heart of everything he did. When my sons were small I would say to them ‘do not use the word hate, you may say I dislike intensely, but never say hate!’ If hate is fueled by fear, let’s replace fear with love. Sing it with me – sing it loud – All you need is love!
Sometimes I could kick myself for being so timid, for not speaking up, for remaining silent where my faith is concerned. My non-Catholic, non-Christian friends do know my faith. In my timidity, I’m careful not to preach, but I have made my beliefs clearly known. Still, I’m too cautious, too careful, and, to the outside world, my gentle whispers of faith do nothing to bring forth the kingdom of God.
Recently, a dear friend of mine told me of her personal struggles over lunch. She was a member of the writing group I started several years ago – the best writer of the group – who has since moved to Stayner. I miss her talented insight, so we meet when we can for lunch every few months. When she told me of the difficulties she was having within her family, my immediate thought was: I will pray for you, but I did not say it out loud – why not?
When we were parting, we hugged, I may have to become Catholic, she said, so I can pray about this.
Ah, I said, so I can pray for you then?
Absolutely, she said. And that’s when I could have kicked myself, for not immediately offering to do so.
I believe in the power of prayer, but I often feel that, to a non-Christian, the words I’ll pray for you have little meaning. That’s the wrong kind of thinking – how does one proclaim the Good News if one is only willing to preach to the choir, so to speak.
How can we become bolder Catholics without pushing people away? Fr. Kuzma spoke, last week, of bringing about positive change with humility and love – the foundations of our faith. If we approach situations with humility; if our love is visible in our words and actions – how can we offend?
We don’t have to become loud and bold; we don’t have to change overnight. Let’s begin with prayer – a powerful element of our faith. I got the message loud and clear from my friend that day.
“I will pray for you,” said with heartfelt compassion and love, is the best way I can think of to begin a bolder approach, beyond our safe community of faith. And who knows, perhaps those very prayers will bring others to say – “I want what you have. I want God in my life too.” We can only hope (and pray).
Before I was married, I spent a year on an island, teaching in a one-room school house. The population of the island was about 100 and there was no church of any denomination. The school teacher (me) and my aid lived in the ‘parsonage,’ which was where the minister would come and stay in the summer months.
The island is approximately 35 kilometres from the mainland (Maine) and, in those days, it was a two hour boat ride or a costly plane trip back to the real world. Every Sunday I would hike off to a jagged cliff that stood facing the east; facing Great Britain. The sea was always churned up and I loved God’s beauty and majesty on full display there. That was my church, my prayer time; my time for reflection and meditation. My faith became self-contained on that island. When I returned to ‘the real world,’ I felt I had everything I needed inside of me. It took a long while, but eventually the desire for the Eucharist drew me back to Church; to the Mass. And, when I came back I soon realized in addition to the Eucharist, the community played an essential role in growing my faith.
We’ve been deprived of the Eucharist these many months, we’ve been able to view the Mass but not participate in it. Now the Church has opened its doors once again and this is Good News, indeed. Many, of course, have legitimate health concerns and the nightly news does nothing to alleviate their worries. They are afraid to go out in public, the coronavirus is still a force in the world; it’s real, and it’s very dangerous for those people. We must respect each individual’s approach to their new normal. But, perhaps some of the rest of us have adjusted to life without Church, without the Eucharist – our faith has become self-contained. I can say from experience, that kind of faith is seriously lacking, and will fail you.
During our time of self-quarantining, we were also denied the ability to visit family. Some of us did the zoom thing (some of us with great difficulty), but, just as with the Masses on YouTube, it was not very satisfying. Have you gathered with your loved ones since the restrictions have relaxed? We got together with our one son and his family as soon as we could. Our youngest son is not ready to widen his circle. He has health concerns that make him anxious about resuming outside activities. We need to respect that. Everyone needs to take the time they need and everyone else needs to understand that…just as in the return to Mass.
For those who are fearful and nervous about coming back to church, I would like to allay your fears. The Diocese has put so many safety measures in place, you’re very safe here. Everyone in the church is a distance away – in front of, behind and to the side of you. Sadly, there’s no singing, but that’s to keep us from the spray of other’s exuberant voices. There is music – beautiful, meditative music at various times during the Mass. The entire experience of gathering together – to pray, to listen to God’s Word, to sit in the same space as the priest giving us his homily, to receive the Eucharist, and to be in God’s presence and meditate – it’s like coming home. So, come on back, we need you here in our midst; you’re part of our circle, our community of faith. Margery Frisch