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Knocking on Heaven’s Door

An Undeniable Fact of Life
I’ve come screaming up to my 72nd birthday and yes, screaming is the right word to describe it – kicking and screaming would be more accurate.
What I’d like to know is: how did this happen so fast? It was only a short while ago, it seems, that I was longing for my 16th birthday, living for my driver’s license. Then, in the blink of an eye, I was out in the real world, making a living (of sorts) and longing to find a forever love.
Finding my forever love and getting on with my grown-up life was exciting, thrilling even…then I couldn’t wait to become a mommy. Well, that period, though slow in the day-to-day, sped by in another blink, maybe two. Surviving my sons’ teens was a rollercoaster ride, but that quickly passed.
When the grandchildren came along, I felt I had died and gone to heaven. But they, too, are moving through life far too quickly for my liking. And now, here we are, the oldest grandchild turning 16 and living for his driver’s license…and I am 72!
I wake up in the morning with a sore thumb; the joint in my thumb throbs if I try to do anything with it – pull open a drawer, pick up a spoon, push a button. What is that all about?
The thumb pain dissolves, only to be replaced by an excruciating knee pain when I walk the dog. That goes away too, replaced by a throbbing toe…neck, finger, arm, shoulder, eye…take your pick, it’s a merry-go-round of afflicted limbs. Why? I exercise, I eat properly (most of the time), I keep my weight down, so as not to burden my joints and add to their pain.
It’s just ageing, plain and simple. But I refuse to take it lying down, I will fight it to my dying day. And, by fighting, I’m not talking about trying to look younger. I stopped colouring my hair years ago because a blonde, with more wrinkles than hairs on her head looks a little scary. I won’t pay money for plastic surgery; do they still call it that? Oh, it’s cosmetic surgery, as if that makes all the difference. But I will continue to walk everywhere around town, ride my bike to the post office and the library and down to the park along the waterfront. I will go to line dancing and act in Murder Mysteries, read my book club books and keep my writing group together and write and write and write.
I will work hard to show my grandchildren that ageing, though an undeniable fact of life, is not something to be dreaded or feared. It’s a fun time of life and the busier you are, the less time you will have to dwell on the aches and the pains.
And, speaking of the grandchildren, they are the future. Let us not bring them down with negativity, there is so much of it in the world, but let us lift them up, give them hope and promise of a bright future. And when, in the blink of an eye, they are staring 72 in the face, may they laugh, hop on their bikes and ride on without fear. Perhaps, by the time they’ve reached this age, old age pain will be eliminated. One can only hope.

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Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Till We Meet Again                a woman’s perspective

Well, my time at St. Mary’s is quickly drawing to a close. I never suspected, when my husband and I took our little holiday in September, that it would initiate such a life change for us. Our heads are spinning!

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately. I wander through our house, remembering the building of it, the slow progression – invisible walls (studs only); plywood floors…and my sister writing, ‘I’d like to send you a housewarming gift, what’s your color scheme?’ We’ve come a long way since then.

I reflect on my first day of work at St. Mary’s, showing up on the 2nd of January, 2009, excited to be joining the office staff. Darryl buzzed me into the office and stared quizzically at me as I tried to explain to her why I was there. She did not know I was coming, certainly unaware that I was going to be in training for her job, and Fr. Dave was nowhere in sight. It was a memorable day and one that made me think I had made a terrible mistake. We’ve come a long way since then.

God leads us, whether we are aware of it or not. We think our choices are our ideas, but I believe we are continually guided. If the choice is a wrong one, perhaps we were not paying particular attention, but God will make it right in time. That’s happened again and again in my life and I’m sure you’ve experienced it too.

When I married in 1978, I followed my husband to Montreal, leaving my family behind. It was difficult, of course. For at least a decade I cried with every letter that arrived from my family. I was not unhappy, I had no regrets about the choice I had made, there was just that ache in my heart, where I held my parents and siblings.

Now I’m leaving a job that I love; we’re moving away from our kids and grandkids. It will not be easy, there will be that same ache in my heart, but I have no regrets. I believe God is leading us to a new and significant calling. We are excited and eager to discover what that might be. We will listen carefully; we will let ourselves be guided by the Spirit.

Of course, in the dead of winter, when our move is done and the unpacked boxes loom large; in a new environment, unfamiliar and uncertain, that tug of regret just might show itself. Was this a mistake? Did we make the right choice? Right or wrong, all will be made right in time. My sister Patti and I used to love to sing the old, traditional round – Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. You are all GOLD, my friends. You will remain in my prayers and I will take you with me in my heart. Have a Blessed Christmas, and may God bless you all – till we meet again!

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Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Mediation                             

When I was a child, living with my large and crazy family, my father once told me I was the mediator of all the siblings. I think I had to go look the word up in the dictionary – what’s a mediator? When I learned the meaning of the word, I felt proud that I, one of the youngest, was deemed the one to settle disputes and bring about truces.

Where my sibling are concerned, I haven’t had to use this skill in a very long while. I hope this gift hasn’t become rusty with lack of use though, because this pandemic seems to be creating a rift between my sons and it weighs heavy on my heart. I bring this concern to God daily in my prayers and I ask for the ability to find the words to say to each of them that will smooth out these troubled waters.

There have not been angry words spoken, just hurt feelings. One is not afraid to get together; wants to see his brother and family, the other is taking every precaution and is fearful of contracting the virus. He was the one eager to get the vaccine, his brother is refusing to get it. Will the one ever feel it’s safe to be around his brother again? The tension builds and I am squarely in the middle.

Though I do talk to each of them gently, softly and, I hope, with very little applied pressure, I do constantly remind them of their strong familial love for each other. Differences of opinion on a pandemic that will one day pass should not destroy what a lifetime has built up.

Prayer has been my constant. Of all the hardships the pandemic has brought about, I never thought it would rock this foundation of love. Deep down in my heart I know the foundation is strong, and I know my prayers will one day be answered, but isn’t it typical to want and expect immediate results from our prayers?

I’ve been reading about St. Alphonsus Liguori, who died on the 1st of August in 1787 and whose feast we celebrate today. A writer of over 100 books, his Prayer, the Great Means of Salvation, eventually gained him the title “Doctor of Prayer” by the Catholic Church. He, and his strong devotion to the Mother of God, has inspired me.

I strongly believe in the power of prayer and I am certain it will get all of us through these difficult situations the pandemic has created in our lives. And, as a mother, I am also compelled to invoke the intercession of Our Blessed Mother – the greatest mediator of them all. Hear our prayer!

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community love Prayer Social Awareness Uncategorized

Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Show Love
Every month for the last year, on the second Tuesday, I have joined a group of women (my high school graduating class) for a zoom. It’s been fascinating learning about their lives; what they have done; where they have gone; who they have become. They always have questions for me about Canada, and I love telling them about this amazing country I now call home.
This past Tuesday I could not participate in the zoom; this past Tuesday I was overcome with a deep sorrow for this country, and I knew I would not be able to articulate it to these women – this country I am so very proud to live in and call home. I still love it with all my heart, but I did not have words to defend the events that have come to light in recent days, and so, instead of chatting with my friends, my husband, our dog and I went for a long pondering walk.
Personally, I do not know anyone with racist views, but I’m not naïve enough to believe racism does not exist; is not rampant in this country. What I find particularly disturbing is that people of power and authority; medical professionals and care-givers; those who have the opportunity to show love and compassion, in some instances, are often found to demonstrate hate and brutality.
I don’t know what we can do as individuals. My go to solution is always prayer, but more is required to deal with this ongoing, ugly side of our society, I think. Love is another way to show support and solidarity – a simple smile given to someone who, for the most part, feels left out, isolated, unloved by the majority of people they encounter. Give a smile and a kind word. Do not ignore people who are not like you, who do not speak the way you do, or look the way you look. It’s a tiny step, but it’s a beginning. Show love…and pray for our country.

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Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Come, Holy Spirit

Early on, when I first began writing pieces for the bulletin, a compliment was given and my response, which I no longer remember, brought forth this reply from a parishioner – ‘That’s the Holy Spirit’s doing.’ Wow. I’m pretty slow at times, but when she said that, I felt it and I knew that it was true.

Sometimes, when I’m thinking and praying, I often don’t distinguish which of the Three-Persons-in One I’m addressing, I just think – God. But since it was brought to my attention that the Holy Spirit was often at work in my writing, I now pray directly to the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and help me to make my words clear. Just because we go through this ritual each time – it doesn’t always bring success. That’s through no fault of Spirit’s – it’s all on me. I may get distracted; I may have my own agenda; or I’m simply not paying attention. Isn’t that often the case in everything we do? Paying attention is crucial.

The Holy Spirit also guides me – when I’m paying attention – in my conversations with others, especially with my kids and grandkids. Saying the right thing at the right moment can make all the difference in helping to ease tension, or bring to light a different perspective – not with preaching, but with Spirit-filled words of love and understanding.

The Holy Spirit is a powerful force in our lives which, if you’re like me, may sometimes go ignored. We should never ignore the urgings of the Holy Spirit. In Acts, the Spirit is depicted as a wind, or a tongue of fire. Within each of us, I think, it most often comes in a different form – a nudge, perhaps; a push to say or to act in a way that is pleasing to God. It sounds easy, doesn’t it? If we are led by the Spirit we will remain on the right path. So what happens? How do we get so lost sometimes?

We forget to pray. Prayer should always be an essential practice in a life of faith. If we choose to be led and not to lead, guidance from the Holy Spirit, through prayer, is key.

On a slightly (but not entirely) different topic – I have been using these very quiet lockdown, pandemic days, to compile my bulletin pieces. I’m attempting to put them into book form, as a fundraiser for the new rectory. It’s a slow project and, at times, a frustrating pastime. Did you know I had recycled some of these pieces, giving them different titles? I had forgotten. Say a prayer to the Holy Spirit for me, to lead and guide me in this endeavor – for its success in generating necessary funds. Thank you and God bless.

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Find the Joy

I know, I know, it’s becoming more and more difficult to remain positive. For over a year we’ve been locked down and isolated – from our loved ones…from our former lives. Turmoil and confusion are the general order of the day, but let’s not despair. There are two things happening right now that we can look to with joy and hope: the blessed season of Easter…and the perennial season of spring!

I love the Acts of the Apostles; reading Acts is like having a front row seat in the planning stages of the early Church: the apostles working everything out; remembering and following Jesus’ direction. The words are infused with the excitement of these new Christians; a contagious energy that can’t help but fill us with the same excitement and joy.

The gospels unfold in a similar way, beginning with the Apostles hiding behind locked doors, despairing Jesus’ death. We see their fear and disbelief at his initial appearance; timid and uncertain at first, eventually they are filled with a joy that gives them a sense of power and purpose. The readings during the Easter season are Good News indeed!

At exactly the same time, the temperature is rising outside. Flowers are showing themselves and the buds on the trees are more pronounced with each new day. The days are longer too allowing us to enjoy the outdoors without freezing to death. Go for a walk, listen to the birds and the peepers and find joy as God renews the face of the earth.

Since we can’t be with our families, we need distractions to keep us from dwelling on that fact. How about sending cards or letters to your grandchildren – going completely old school? Ask them to write back. Begin new traditions. COVID-19 will forever be the turning point in our lives. From here on in, stories and events will be remembered as pre-COVID and post-COVID. Begin new practices with your family that will continue post-COVID. Prayer is always a good place to start. Prayer centers us, and directs us away from ourselves to the needs of others, and during this pandemic everyone needs our prayers! There are those who are sick with the virus, those with cancer whose operations and treatments have been compromised and, in some cases, delayed; there are those with anxiety issues that are heightened during these frightening times. In addition to all of this, we have people who, though understandably angry and fed up, are thwarting our best efforts, leaving us discouraged and confused. We all need prayer!

Jesus, the Good Shepherd, will not abandon us. The last day I was able to attend Mass, these words in the Preface Acclamation (Holy, holy, holy) jumped out at me: Heaven and earth are full of your glory, and it’s true. By remaining positive we will see it. Pray those words aloud: Heaven and earth are full of your glory! Then get some fresh air – get outside and find the glory…find the joy! by Margery Frisch

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Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Faith and Gratitude

What does prayer, fasting and alms giving look like in a pandemic? We may feel we have sacrificed enough in the past year to fill a lifetime of Lents. But have we really?

Lockdown is difficult, stay at home orders infringing on our freedom; our inability to see, hold our kiss our children and grandchildren. Yes, these are tremendous sacrifices, but I don’t think they’d get us off the hook where Lent is concerned.

All this staying at home, all this ceasing of our normal routines…this is a wonderful opportunity to stop the busyness; to think and to pray. Ok, parents with children, trying to work from home while helping their kids with online learning…your busyness has not stopped for a second. In fact, it’s probably increased, along with your stress level. Then there are those who have been out of work; their places of employment shut down for months, or shut down for good. The homeless are still homeless, their situation made worse by the closing of institutions they rely on for help.

But we all can look at this time as an opportunity to put our faith and trust in God. Our worrying does nothing to help the situation; neither does our complaining. Our gratitude and our prayers can be a miraculous boost to our spirits, as well as a gift to others.

What do we have to be grateful for in the midst of a pandemic? The beauty of the sun glinting off the frost covered trees; the pristine quality of new fallen snow; the fact that, after almost a year in each other’s constant presence, we can still find joy in being with our spouse. Maybe that’s not everyone…perhaps you’re tired of each other’s constant company; maybe you hate the snow, but look deep down within and you will find those things for which you are grateful. Then thank God in prayer.

Fasting – or depriving ourselves of those things which give us pleasure, is a way of helping us to focus our attention on God. That feeling of deprivation should remind us of what we are doing and why, keeping God forever close.

Our local organizations have been struggling with all the shutdowns, making their fundraising efforts all the more challenging – in some cases, more work for half the reward. Be generous in your alms giving. Even if your finances have been strained, a few dollars, given by us all, would be a tremendous boost to places like Safe ‘N Sound, OSHaRE, the local food bank, and the Grey Bruce Pregnancy Centre. There’s much we can do in a pandemic, to make the world a better place. Whatever you do throughout this Lenten season, do it with gratitude in your heart, a prayer on your lips and, most especially, do it with love.

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Patience People!

We’ve been spending a lot of time together, my husband and I. When there’s a pandemic on, there aren’t a lot of options. I’ve discovered he sucks in air through his teeth when he’s engrossed in a project – annoying? It was, but after 11 months, I hardly notice any more.  He begins to tell me something, but he’s building a fire in the wood stove at the same time, so a quick little story turns into a lengthy 20 minute, huge-quiet-gaps-in-between ordeal. Let’s not get him started on all the annoying things I am capable of doing and saying – fortunately, we can laugh…and we do, and that’s a blessing.

So many people are complaining these days and it’s easy to join in. But heaping negativity on top of restrictions and closures – is this helpful? I think it brings us all down, makes us listless and lethargic and completely unproductive. Not only does this make the unpleasantness worse – it’s unhealthy. We are in a pandemic – have you ever been in a pandemic before? No. None of us have. No one knows quite what to do – infectious diseases experts, government officials – they’re all flying by the seat of their pants, trying to figure this out. It’s complicated, ever-changing and, at times, deadly. Our complaining only makes it worse.

So what are some of the coping strategies we might try, to help us get through this in a healthier manner? Well first and foremost – we have lots of time to pray. Everyone needs prayer – our frontline workers; the elderly; those with addictions and mental illness; priests and minsters and all who are alone and frightened. Let us pray. We also have time to call people, to see if we can help them in any way…picking up groceries or medications, just talking to them on the phone. Get out and walk, read a good book, learn a new language. Watch movies or shows that make you laugh – laughing, especially during these difficult times, is very important.

If we search for the good, the positive in every day, I guarantee we will find it. My daughter-in-law posted on social media the other day how proud she was of her children – ‘they griped and complained before Christmas about returning to virtual classes, but every morning, they are there, present and attentive and ready to get their assignments done.’ Good for them, and good for her – for seeing the positive and sharing it. My other son and his wife embarked on a fitness campaign which they soon discovered made a huge difference not only in their physical health, but in their mental health as well – win/win.

Instead of complaining about the ‘buy 2 for $4 / buy 1 for $3,” the new practice all the grocery stores have adopted – get the two instead of one and see if there’s anyone in the checkout who might need that extra bag of onions or potatoes…or maybe bring them down to your nearest soup kitchen.

Sitting around complaining will not help us – sitting and praying will. Then let’s get out and do some good. 

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All You Need is Love

There’s a sign that I drive past on my way to work every day, it reads: This billboard available and there’s a phone number in large digits. Would it seem I was squandering money to rent that space to say – the Beatles were right, all you need is love…but Jesus said it first! Now that I have this in my head, I smile every time I see that sign. One day, I’ll get the nerve (and the money) to do it!

     I’ve been reading a book in which I thought the author said the opposite of love is fear. I was sure that’s what he said, because in my mind I immediately thought – no, the opposite of love is hate. When I went back to check this fact, I couldn’t find that statement anywhere. He says we need to transform fear into love; he says fear and love cannot exist within us at the same time, he never says one is the antithesis of the other. But let’s look at it that way for a moment (since I had so many thoughts already rolling around in my head with that point of view).

     When we consider all the civil unrest happening around us – are these actions driven by hate, or fear? Is fear perhaps the very thing that feeds the hate which drives the violence? How can we stop the cycle? We might think it’s impossible for us, ourselves, to do anything to stop this madness. But let’s think again. Do we take part in hateful, hurtful dialogue on Facebook? Do we get into heated discussions with people who don’t think the same way we do? Do we get angry just thinking about these people who express views different than our own? How can we change this pattern? We should always consider, if we think things need changing, how we ourselves might change. How can we bring more positivity into the world around us?

     If we take a moment, in quiet prayer and meditation, we’ll soon realize – love is key. We can’t always agree with everyone, even by educating ourselves; trying to see things from another’s perspective. But we can accept their thoughts and opinions with love. Jesus got angry on occasion, but he did not lash out at everyone who opposed his teachings; love was at the heart of everything he did.      When my sons were small I would say to them ‘do not use the word hate, you may say I dislike intensely, but never say hate!’ If hate is fueled by fear, let’s replace fear with love. Sing it with me – sing it loud – All you need is love!

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Catholic Lent Patience Prayer Uncategorized

Try Something New

I like to keep my life in balance – mind, body, spirit and I am grateful to God every day for the ability to practice those things that keep it so. You can imagine, then, how out of balance I felt recently, when a serious fall derailed my running for a month. I moped about for a while, bought a workout video, to keep moving until I could run again…then I stopped to consider…maybe it’s not just the inability to run that’s put me out of balance. Maybe it’s time to look more deeply into my other practices, to see what else might be off kilter.

Do you ever find that, every now and then, your prayer life switches to auto-pilot? You’re going along, going through the motions, but really getting nowhere? Fortunately, Lent comes along just in the nick of time. Lent is a call to conversion; its calls us to wake up, shake off the winter lethargy and get to work.

The great thing about a new routine is the enthusiasm and renewed energy it brings with it. The workout video I purchased was just what I needed – a change of routine; and it got my looking into other routine changes in other areas of my life.

I began to seek out new reflections and meditations to better aid me in reading the daily scriptures. It got me searching for new prayers that will lead me into deeper contemplation. I’m even looking critically at my usual Lenten routines to see how I might do better, how I might make it a more meaningful and fruitful Lenten journey.

Do you give things up for Lent? Is there a purpose to it, a spiritual benefit? Not a ‘what’s in it for me,’ but ‘what’s in it for others?’ This year I’ve decided that everything I do, or refrain from doing; everything I say, or refrain from saying, will be done for the sake of others; for the wellbeing of others. As I write this I’m thinking my husband might be the greatest beneficiary of all my Lenten promises, but that’s really not a bad thing, is it?

Let’s shake things up this Lent, let’s get creative for the benefit of others. Let’s fast – from anger, from hurtful gossip, from impatience. Let’s give generously – of our time, our abundance; let’s give smiles and compliments and kind words and hugs. Let’s pray without ceasing – as we drive, walk, prepare dinner, clean the house. Try something new this Lent, shake things up and it will bring new enthusiasm to your spiritual practices, I guarantee it.