Category: love

And So We Begin

Are you ready? Our Lenten journey begins this Wednesday – Ash Wednesday – and how do you plan to traverse the desert that is these 40 days? I like to change things up every once in a while, ever since my husband laughed at me for giving up chocolate for the umpteenth time. I’m a chocoholic and I felt this was a tremendous penance, but really, to what gain? Did my abstaining from chocolate benefit anyone else? Sadly, no. In Isaiah 58.5-7, we read: Is this the manner of fasting I wish, of keeping a day of penance: That a man bow his head like a reed, and lie in sackcloth and ashes? Do you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? This, rather, is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke; sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own. There are so many fruitful ways to travel through Lent, we need only look around us for ways in which we can be helpful; giving, kind and loving.

Jesus says, Beware of practising your piety before people in order to be seen by them, for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. So I will not share my Lenten intentions, but I have become ever mindful that prayer, fasting and almsgiving must be for the benefit of others or there is not purpose to it. If we pray ceaselessly, if we fast from gossip and angry words and if we give to those around us who are in need we will be on the right path. Let’s take some time today to map out that path – just so we don’t get lost en route

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The Nativity

On December 23rd, I happened upon The Nativity on CBC television. Instantly, I was skeptical – another nativity production – why? Well I stuck with it and was happy I did.
I have to admit, I have always found the story of the virgin birth a difficult one to grasp. Of course our faith is built on so many truths we accept without understanding, but what I have always found difficult is how accepting Mary and Joseph were of their dreams. Can you imagine – “I had this crazy dream that I am to have a child and he will be the son of God.” “Really?!? Cool!” Would these revelations fly today? I can’t see it happening. We are so filled with mistrust and doubt.
What I loved about The Nativity; that had me spellbound within minutes, was the doubt and uncertainty of Mary and most especially Joseph, even after the angel had come and explained these things. This depiction of them helped me to relate to them better.
In this film, Mary goes to visit her pregnant cousin Elizabeth with disbelief and concern in equal measure. Elizabeth helps her to better understand the words of the archangel. When she returns home, visibly pregnant herself, the townspeople are horrified, they ridicule her. Joseph is shocked, hurt and bitter. Try explaining to a guy who is hurling furniture in anger – ‘It’s ok, this is the son of God.’ He wasn’t buying it.
In this movie, Joseph plans to leave; heading to Bethlehem for the census and Mary’s father begs him to take Mary with him, for her own protection. “She cannot stay here,” he tells Joseph, “she will be stoned to death.”
Grudgingly, Joseph takes her with him. But his anger does not even let him accept the words of the angel when he appears to sort things out for him. Finally, Jesus is born. Whose heart does not melt at the sight of a new born baby? And when the shepherd arrives, being told of this birth by…yes, an angel; and a short while later the wise men appear on the scene, Joseph is in awe of this child, and what all this attention means. He thinks back to what the angel told him…he believes.
Now, having been given the barest of facts related to Jesus’ birth, one can conjure up many interpretations of how the events unfolded. I like this particular portrayal, written by Tony Jordan for the BBC, because it portrays Mary and Joseph in ways I can truly understand – confused, frightened, questioning. Of course God chose them to be the earthly parents of Jesus because of their purity of heart, their devotion, their faith and willingness to do God’s will. But this contemporary slant on the nativity of Jesus helps me to understand how they may have reached acceptance. It does not diminish their stature in my eyes; rather their strength fills me with awe

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WAITING

Advent is a time of expectant anticipation. But, oh, we are an impatient age. Even those of us who are older, we are no longer content to wait for anything. So what do we do with Advent? Has it lost its significance in our lives? We’re supposed to fill this time of waiting with prayer and reflection…but, if you’re like me, it’s filled with preparations for Christmas – and not so much for the blessed nativity, but in shopping, baking and the writing of Christmas cards. How did this happen…and why? It seems everything that humankind gets involved in becomes inflated and out of control. Is it too late to turn this around? Can we just decide to stop the madness and dole out lots of love and rejoice in the nativity of the Lord and call that Christmas?

Yes, we can…we don’t though, because there are children and grandchildren to consider. But are we underestimating our offspring with that kind of thinking? This past summer, both of our sons, along with their spouses, bought new homes. They are busy with renovations and improvements and both families came to the conclusion that, since we would all be together at Christmas, wasn’t that gift enough? Let’s get gifts for the children and let’s have our gathering together be gift for the rest of us.

I was actually the only one to protest – But can’t I knit things?

Oh yes, my daughters-in-law eagerly replied, but let’s not spend money on extravagant gifts. That warmed my heart and gave me hope!

Let’s take time this Advent season, to consider what Christmas really means to us. Let’s stop the madness where we can and fill these days with a bit of peace and joyful anticipation and preparation for the coming of our Lord!

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Family Matters

Beautiful sister — Rest in peace, Beautiful Sister – Oct. 2011, with her grandson.

I’ve never been one to fall into the lament, ‘why do bad things happen to good people?’ It’s a pointless exercise and I’ve never wasted the time. There are just things we must accept. My oldest sister was born a ‘blue baby.’ She had congenital heart disease along with many developmental problems. She was not supposed to live beyond her childhood, but was 35 when she died. Even then I felt cheated, losing her when we did. My husband never met her which was so unfortunate, because to know Judy was to have your life changed forever. My parents never questioned why this happened to them; why their poor innocent child was dealt such a heavy hand. They accepted God’s will and made the best life they could for their special daughter – an impressive example for the rest of their children. My mother died of cancer 20 years ago. We were blessed to have her into her 74th year. Over the course of my life time, she suffered through many bouts of the disease – always with grace, dignity and a very strong faith. We learned a lot from mother, through her illness. When one of my sisters lost her husband in a tragic motorcycle accident several years ago, we were all devastated, heartbroken and my sister was consumed with grief. Her daughters and sons-in-law were a tremendous help to her, but her faith gave her the strength to move forward. Again, a powerful example for the rest of us. Now our baby sister must call upon that strength, dignity and most importantly, that faith that we have witnessed in our family over and over again. Cancer touches all of our lives at some time or other. It has hit our family once again. Bad things happen to good people. With every fiber of my being I resist anger – it’s exhausting and serves no purpose. God did not cause this and we need him on our side more than ever. Above my desk in the office are the words, Faith – Hope – Love. A friend came in the other day and asked which one I was feeling most at that moment. I said, “All three, right now I need all three.” Don’t we all? We all experience hardship, tragedy and loss. But to lay blame in those situations where clearly no one is at fault is an unhealthy practice. That’s when meditation on the Serenity Prayer can be helpful. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. And though it is perhaps counter-productive to the prayer itself, I am compelled to add – and the strength to fight for one’s Life!

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We Are But A Speck

It snowed overnight on our ascent. This was in 2012, but the memories are still vivid. (Fortunately, all physical pain is gone and forgotten!? — It snowed overnight on our ascent. This was in 2012, but the memories are still vivid. (Fortunately, all physical pain is gone and forgotten!)

Hiking down into (and, more importantly, back out of) the Grand Canyon is, for many of us, a monumental feat. It’s certainly not one I’d ever take lightly – again. For the five of us who made this trek in February – two experienced hikers…three not – it was a bonding experience; a test of character and will. It was a delight to the eyes, the ears, the soul. Majestic, transcending all other visual experiences in my life!

With some distance now between me and the physical pain of this adventure, I can truly say it was an opportunity that I would not pass up if given the chance to do it again.

Our bodies groaned the day after our six hour hike down into the Canyon. The constant jarring on knees and feet, pounding down an unrelentingly steep grade, had major consequences. Our heavy packs adding insult to injury. While in the canyon, we hiked day after day after day, just to keep those joints moving and soon they were repaired enough to tackle the hike up and out.

I loved the day hikes most of all. The weather was mild, with cloudless skies, once the sun had climbed high enough to show itself over the canyon walls. No heavy packs on the day hikes, just a bit of lunch, lots of water and much camaraderie. On one of these hikes, as we headed back to our campsite, I got way ahead of everyone else. I’m not sure how or why it happened, but I continued on, alone with my thoughts. I would stop every now and then to photograph some awesome sight. Over and over, this one thought kept coming to my mind – we are but a speck…and a moment in time. Surrounded by this massive expanse of rock, billions of years in formation, I could think of little else. And yet, there I was, this speck, wandering around a mile below where normal people stood, and I was filled with God’s love – for me…this tiny, inconsequential speck that God loves. That will put strength in your stride and add height to your stature. I smiled at the thought process that took me from feeling so small…to so important. Not filled with self-importance, but a sense of being important enough to be so loved.

Still, in a geographical and geological sense, there’s no denying… we are but a speck and a moment in time. I concluded, on this independent hike, therefore, that there’s no time to waste. I must get busy! But busy how? Doing what? Sometimes it’s all so confusing – and then it’s not. The answer came, bouncing off the rock walls that encompassed me – love. Just love. If I feel such love, I must give such love. That’s where you begin – a simple way to live one’s life – with love. I’ve always tried to live this way, but not always with success. When I gossip, I’m not loving; when I judge, I do not love…So, I’ll pick myself up, dust myself off and try harder.

After a time, the others caught up with me and the chattering and laughter filled the air once again – but I felt changed. Nature, God’s creation, has a powerfully spiritual effect on me.

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Lead Us to One Another

One recent Sunday, at Mass, we sang –Bread of Life, Hope of the world, Jesus Christ our Brother, Teach us now, Give us hope, Lead us to one another.

Do you ever have something just jump out at you, like you’ve never heard it before? I took a pen out of my purse, found something to write on and I scribbled, ‘lead us to one another.’ My husband looked at me and asked, ‘What are you doing?’ I shook my head, “I’ll explain later,” I whispered.

But I couldn’t explain, really. It just grabbed me. And, knowing myself, I had to write it down so I wouldn’t forget that I was grabbed by that line. I think this is what’s called, hearing with your heart.

Sometimes I feel this journey; this spiritual road I travel (with many detours and dead ends) is a solitary one. That’s when I get hung up, when I think it’s all about me – my relationship with God, my calling, my journey. We’re traveling the wrong road when we think that way.

Lead us to one another. What a lovely prayer; a beautiful reminder that we are not alone and we are called to help one another. Lead each other out of difficulties; lead each other back onto the right path. How do we accomplish this? Through Jesus, our brother – the Bread of Life; the Hope of the world. Sometimes I need to be reminded of this and I just love it when it grabs me on a beautiful Sunday morning at Mass!

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Good Grief

Patti & me — I wrote this piece a year ago. It’s two years now since my sister died . I think of her every day and thoughts of her still make me smile. Patricia McDonald Luca – 2 April 1956 – 13 March 2014.

A year has passed, since my sister Patricia died. Slowly, imperceptibly, it seems, healing is taking place. I think of her daily and, though the hole in my heart is still felt, the pain is not as great.

I read something recently about grief, and how, when help is sought, treatment given might be as for one suffering from depression. According to the psychologist and writer of the article – they are not the same thing, and should not be treated in the same way.

However, when we let our pain and grief take us to a dark place, then professional help should be sought. Grieving is a necessary process to cope with loss, but when it consumes us, when it prevents us from living our lives, it can spiral down into a dark depression that is far more serious than grief. I chose to look at this subject because many of my friends and acquaintances have lost loved ones recently. In this past year, so many of your family members and so many of our parish family have died. We are surrounded by those who have lost spouses, siblings, parents and children. Death is never an easy thing to face, but hopefully we can find comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our sorrow and loss, this is a part of life that we all encounter.

In our travels recently, my husband and I attended mass at St. Mary of the Assumption, in Huntsville, and, as I love to do, I took one of their bulletins, just to see how others do things. Right in the middle of the first page was a quote that touched my heart: “Those who die…are no further from us than God, and God is very near.”

I believe this to be true and I think this is why the pain is lessening. I often feel Patti’s presence. Sometimes it’s a nudging; pushing me to do and try things I have not done before. Other times it’s her voice, “Really, you’re going to wear that?” My sister had a delightful sense of humour and that is what I miss most, that and our long phone conversations that left us aching from laugther; our ears hurting from holding the phone against them for hours at a time.

Yes, loss is painful, but life continues on in spite of our loss and grief. The world moves forward and we must move with it; move beyond ourselves. Easter approaches and our faith calls us to rejoice – in the Good News, in the Risen Christ, and in our departed loved ones sharing in God’s promise!

Tags death, love

Catholic Lent love

Journeying on through Lent

Post author By admin
Post date March 5, 2016
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I’m trying to love more. Don’t laugh…and don’t think it’s easy! When Jesus said, it’s easy to love our friends and family, but we must love our enemies too, therein lies the difficulty. Actually, it’s not always that easy to love the ones we love!

So, if we make this one of our Lenten disciplines, how do we begin? It seems a daunting task, but really it’s pretty straightforward – LOVE – that’s all we have to do…but whom and how? Begin with a simple smile. Just smiling at people will make them feel good and it will do wonders for your well-being too. Before my sister died, I told my husband I thought she was pushing herself… to sound happy…to sound well. ‘What’s wrong with that?’ he said, ‘Ultimately, she’ll convince her body of it too.’ And you know, there’s truth in that. She did convince her body, for a very long time. You can do it too. Even on an off day, if you smile enough, your body will give up and give in – you’ll actually begin to feel better.

When you’ve gotten the hang of smiling at people – add a kind word. It’s surprising how kind words are win/win. You can make such a difference in someone’s day by complimenting them. The change in their demeanor is instantaneous, and that feeling spills over and comes back to you.

Sometimes our love can be shown with silence, perhaps a hug. Helping someone through a tragic loss is difficult. Often we have no words. That’s ok, a warm embrace speaks volumes.

When we begin simply, it’s not an insurmountable task. Just one small act of kindness at a time can change the world…eventually. So let’s begin each day asking ourselves how we can make someone’s day a little brighter. By the time Easter arrives, we’ll have a true grasp of the numerous ways we can show our love for one another