Category: love

REJOICE

Post author By admin
Post date April 6, 2018
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I hope you will indulge me. This is something I wrote four years ago, but never shared. Seeing as how my sister’s birthday fell on Easter Monday, it naturally came to mind.

I’ve made several attempts to begin this piece, but it does not come as easily as some. The winter was long and difficult and spring has been resistant, all of which reflects my mood – cold and dark, slowly emerging. Through the winter months my sister’s health took a turn from which she could not come back. The weight dropped off her, pain set in, but through it all, her faith, her fight and her humor never wavered. She was a tremendous example to all the family of determination with grace and dignity. Just as our mother had been 25 years before. From Christmas on, my husband and I made plans to travel to Rhode Island to be with her, but storm after storm thwarted our efforts. When the skies would clear, the temperatures would plummet, and then we feared returning to frozen pipes. Finally, in early March we made the 11 hour journey and spent two days by her side. The priest had already anointed her, her daughter and son-in-law from Switzerland were there and we knew the end was near. In hushed voices, my niece and I talked. “She’s afraid of dying,” Jessy said, sadly. My niece did her best to give me time alone with my sister, but each time the house grew quiet, with just the two of us there, she would fall deeply asleep. She was exhausted. On the second and last day of our visit, she slept the entire time, waking only briefly. When it was time for us to leave, I knew I had to say something that would comfort her, but what? It had to be quick, but it had to calm her and ease her fears.

“Just rest,” I told her, “don’t worry about anything.”

“Oh, I wish,” she said.

“Patti,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “You are loved. You are so loved! God is love – and that is all you need to think about.”

She died four days later, in complete peace, her family told me.

Now we are in the joyful Easter season! But before we could rejoice in Easter celebration, we had to first experience Christ’s agony and death. Thankfully, our faith teaches us that the death of a loved one is not the end…but a new beginning. And how can we not rejoice in that?

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Lenten Practices

It’s Lent and we can trudge through it looking dismal, so everyone knows we’ve taken on onerous practices, or we can open our eyes to the gifts God provides us with on a daily basis – and smile.

Are you’re like me? Sometimes the smallest change of routine can throw me off balance. We were looking after our son’s dog while he and his family went on a holiday to warmer climes. Not one week, not two…but three long weeks of a four legged addition to our household. I don’t need to tell you who looked after this guest. I was the one to take him outside first thing in the morning and last thing at night. My husband, who sleeps like the dead, was nowhere near rising when Banksy and I began the day and, in the evening he had long since ascended the stairs before the dog and I were ready to retire.

Our dog sleeps in a kennel in the kitchen, my son’s dog sleeps in their bedroom…on their bed – I drew the line there, letting him sleep in our room, but on his own bed. He sleeps in quite late, my son informed me. Well, no, he only sleeps in if the people he’s sleeping with do. When I rose at 5:45, so did Banksy, rearing to go.

Change can be discombobulating, it can make us ornery and cantankerous – but when we’re doing good things for others, is that the way to do it? I don’t think so. It rather defeats the purpose. Admittedly, I was a bit ornery at the start of our new living arrangements, but, over time, a new routine developed.

We have an invisible fence for our dog and each morning I slap her collar on her and send her out the door. I soon discovered that having to go outside with Banksy in the morning allowed me to appreciate the beauty of the morning sky – the rising sun, the crisp crunch of the snow underfoot. Each evening when we’d go out one last time, I’d stare up into the night sky and marvel at the beauty and the wonder that shone down from the heavens.

An inconvenience can sometimes bring about wonderful discoveries in ourselves and in the world around us. Our three weeks of dog-sitting prepared me for Lent –showing me how change of routine (being deprived of our creature comforts) can be energizing; it taught me to adapt with a happy heart and it opened my eyes to God’s beauty and splendour. There’s no need to dismally trudge through Lent – God’s gifts are everywhere, when we open our hearts to his graces.

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Turning the World Around

A song came to mind recently when my husband and I listened to a news story on the CBC radio program As It Happens. The story concerned a Muslim community in Arkansas that had been vandalized in October of 2016. Several vandals spray painted swastikas and curse words on the exterior of the mosque. ‘Go Home’ was emblazoned on the windows.

One of the vandals, sentenced to community service and a hefty fine was facing six years in prison because he was unable to keep up the payments of the fine he had been given.

The leaders of the mosque chose to pay this young man’s fine, to keep him from going to jail. The interviewer was incredulous, “Why would you pay his fine, when he had vandalized your place of worship?” she asked.

“Because he apologized; he showed remorse, and we forgave him. He was not the instigator and no one told him to write the letter he brought to us. We did the only thing we could do, we responded with love.”

This story, heard at the very beginning of a new year, filled me with such hope. We need to hear more stories like this in the media. The world would be a better place for it. Stories like this one can truly help to change attitudes…to turn the world around. “We responded with love.”

I’m not one to make New Year’s resolutions (I don’t consider January 1^st to be my new year), but I think I’d like to make one this year and I challenge everyone to do the same. If we resolve to live each day with love and forgiveness in our hearts – how might we change the world in a year’s time? We can get bogged down with thoughts that one person cannot change the world, but we can no longer afford to think that way. One person’s actions; one Muslim community’s actions have a ripple effect that grows and grows, far beyond our imagining.

Take a leap of faith and plunge into this New Year with greater love in your heart. Don’t hold on to grudges or past hurts – forgive and lighten your load for 2018.

My heart shall sing of the day you bring, let the fires of your justice burn.

Wipe away all tears, for the dawn draws near, and the world is about to turn!

Canticle of the Turning, Rory Cooney 1990

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Time for a Change

Look back, way back, to Christmases past. Do you have fond memories of Christmases that you share with your children, your grandchildren? Was last Christmas like those of, say 20 years ago? Of course not. Why? Because things change, situations change…and we adapt.

When my sons were in their teens, I told them they would never have to race around the country side on Christmas day, rushing to visit in-laws and us all in one day. That was something we never had to do and I told them I would not subject them to it. They stared at me blankly at the time. A decade later, when my husband and I found ourselves alone one Christmas day, I thought I would die. I didn’t. I adapted.

I’ve never been overly fond of dogs, though my husband loves them and so do our sons. Now when we all gather, there are four dogs in our midst. I’ve adapted.

I love to bake and I love getting both our sons and their families together –they are all vegans now and cooking, especially baking, is a challenge for me when they come to the house, but I’ve adapted (sort of).

When you think back on your life and how it’s changed over the years, do you consider your faith? Do you practice your faith in the same way you did 20 years ago? During this busy, hectic, shortened Advent season, take a long slow breath and reflect on that. In this last little bit of time left before we celebrate the birth of our Lord, find the time to read scripture, listen with greater care. Do the words strike you differently than they have in the past? Times change, but God is constant. He reaches out to us, calling us to live our faith more deeply; to pay greater attention to the path he is calling us to. Let us adapt to his will in this new Church year!

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Called to be Saints

I know a guy who is quite involved with a drop-in centre in downtown Owen Sound. Recently he found himself embroiled in an argument with a neighbour of the centre. The neighbour, a Torontonian, having purchased the property next door and possibly unhappy with the neighbouring clientele, was not in a good mood. This guy I know kept calm and cool (on the outside), despite the berating he received.

“You are nobody,”the man shouted. “you have nothing, you own nothing, you are a loser!” He clearly hoped to incite a violent response, but my friend would not fall into his trap. It was, in fact, an opportunity to demonstrate to those who attend the centre, a non-violent response to conflict. When he told me about this incident later, he nearly shook with the memory of it, but I know he felt proud too – not for how he handled the situation, but for an entirely different reason.

When this guy goes down to the drop-in centre, he does not stand out, not in his attire, nor in his speech. He becomes as those he serves and they love that about him. Actually, more than half the people he meets there haven’t a clue he’s the chairman of the board of directors – he’s just one of the guys, which is obviously what the angry new neighbour thought…and that pleased my friend to no end.

We read in the gospel that we should not draw attention to ourselves…when we fast, when we pray…and how about when we serve others? I marvel at this man and how he lives his faith. He does it far better than I, but the good news is – with open eyes, minds and hearts, we can learn from each other, growing closer to God in the process.

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In a Tumultuous World

Only during Holy Week do I ever really consider the circumstances of Jesus’ crucifixion. How could such a thing happen? If I had been there, surely I would not have been one with the crowd that shouted “Crucify him.” But would I have stood silent, for fear of what the crowd would do to me?

When my children were young, I would not let them use the word hate, it’s a bad word. “You may say, ‘I dislike intensely,’ but never say hate.” That being said, I hate crowds. There’s an energy and an influence that takes over, suddenly. In a flash, it is no longer a group of individuals, but a mob, of one mind – the mind and the influence of the leader(s) and violence and chaos can take over in a heartbeat.

The events that transpired in Charlottesville, Virginia, recently, filled me with sadness and dread. In addition to the events themselves, the way the president dealt with them and the way the United States has been divided by them, one can only worry.

It seems as if the world has turned upside down and inside out. Genocide is taking place in parts of our world; devastation from hurricanes, floods and earthquakes south of us; white supremacists are coming out of the woodwork; the leaders of North Korea and the United States have resorted to adolescent name-calling; and mass killings in Las Vegas. But, what has the president of the United States up in arms? A group of athletes ‘taking a knee’ in quiet, peaceful protest. What is this world coming to?

One can so easily become disheartened hearing, reading and watching these events unfold before our eyes. Several things keep me centered when I begin to feel weighed down by world atrocities: 1.) I truly believe these things have been going on since time immemorial, but technology now brings them to us instantly, sometimes we even see them happening live; 2.) I believe there is an equal amount of goodness in the world (which sadly, the media does not consider newsworthy); and 3.) I believe prayer can heal wounds and action can change lives.

We must remain positive and prayerful. But we cannot afford to remain silent in the light of injustice. Jesus did not tolerate injustice. He did not use violence; he did not berate the crowd, his means were always non-violent, but effective. We can follow Jesus’ lead. In our own way, in our own space, we can heal wounds, change lives, and instill hope – with love, positivity and prayer.

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Love

Post author By admin
Post date May 23, 2017
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When my sons were in their teens, the protestations began about attending Mass. I explained to them that this was my job, part of the job of raising them – to build a solid foundation of faith. They rolled their eyes and simply chalked it up with all the other restrictions and limitations I placed on their lives. I speak singularly, as if my husband wasn’t in the picture. He was, but he was the softy; I was the one who held them to the house rules. I never felt I was a strict disciplinarian, but once

we decided on a certain plan of action – I didn’t waffle, as someone else might have.

Skip ahead two decades and we have finally reached that point I had always heard about and had only dreamed of – that point in their lives when they see us differently; they admire our wisdom. Our one son, with three children, now realizes the importance of rules and holding kids to them. His younger brother – soon to be a father, is observant. Our daughters-in-law often swell our heads, complimenting us on raising such wonderful sons. I simply look heavenward, with thankful praise to God for his bounteous gifts. They are not church goers, these sons of ours, but they were given a foundation of faith, they were taught respect and were respected, and they were immersed in love. I have hope…I have faith.

On Mother’s Day, our oldest, invited not only his parents to his house, but his in-laws, his brother and his wife – the expectant parents – and his brother’s in-laws. We mothers were honoured but I, and most especially my son’s wife, were very proud. He worked tirelessly to ensure everything was just so, for these many women in his life.

I learned from my own parents that lecturing and preaching to non-practicing children does nothing to increase their desire to return to the Church. In many instances, it alienates grown children from their parents. My son once told his wife (right in front of me), “Some people preach their faith, but my parents live their faith.” My eyes welled up with tears. I have hope…I have faith.

Sitting and observing all the busyness of Mother’s Day, what I witnessed everywhere I looked was love. My husband and my son, busy in the kitchen; my younger son and his pregnant wife, cuddled up on the chaise in the living room; the grandchildren playing on the floor with their other grandpa, and we ladies sitting around the dining room table, sipping wine, laughing and sharing stories of times past. Everywhere I looked, I saw love. God’s love. God is love.

A dear friend very recently said to me, “God equals love – love equals God.” I have great faith…I have much hope

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Serving One Another

When I discovered my birthday fell on Easter Sunday this year, I felt it a great gift, because it wasn’t just any birthday, but a rather significant one. As the day crept closer, and neither of my kids stepped up to say, ‘Hey mom, since Easter Sunday is on your birthday (and a rather significant one at that), we’ll host Easter this year.’ This did not happen. Then my husband required surgery, with his recovery overlapping Easter. I knew he wouldn’t want to travel anywhere, so I stepped up and said that Easter would be at our house.

My youngest son seemed confused by this announcement, ‘But isn’t that what we normally do?’

‘Yes,’ I replied, calmly enough, ‘but Easter doesn’t normally fall on my birthday.’ Probably not so calmly with that last part. I must admit, I felt put upon.

You see, my father always made sure each of his seven children got special treatment on their birthdays. In fact, it was one of the spouses of one of my siblings who first observed that we McDonalds don’t really have birthdays…we have birth weeks! Now you see where I’m coming from.

So, that was the mindset leading up to Holy Week. And as that week progressed, I cleaned, I prepped and readied the house for our guests.

It was most fortunate that the beautiful liturgies of the Triduum preceded Easter Sunday, because those liturgies, and Fr. Kuzma’s homilies on service and humility, turned everything around for me. One day I grudgingly went about my preparations… and the next day I lovingly and joyfully went about doing what needed to be done. Just like that, I got over myself and looked forward to having everything just so when everyone arrived.

My daughters-in-law celebrate birthdays three and four days after mine and a granddaughter shares her mother’s birthday too. We celebrated Easter and four birthdays on Easter Sunday. My eldest son made an incredible birthday cake, everyone brought food and the day was glorious and special.

If we open our hearts and minds, God can help us to see beyond ourselves; can work with our imperfect souls in very special ways. If we open our hearts and minds everything changes – we change – for the good.

Not only that, but I still had six more days of my birth week, so it was indeed all good (and truly blest).

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Keeping it Simple

When my husband and I were first married, I lovingly (and mistakenly) began the practice of bringing him coffee in bed each and every morning. It was a simple task, a small thing, but it meant a lot to him. It was easy. I smile now at the thought of how things…how life can begin simply enough and, over time, become more complicated. In those early days, when we were young and attractive, and love was new and easy, it was coffee, black – simple.

Over time, things change, we change – slowly, sometimes imperceptibly, but then you wake up one morning and a simple task you could once do in your sleep – coffee, black, changes to tea – carefully measured, steeped just so long, with this much sugar and a dash of milk. Life gets complicated. Do I ever complain? Sometimes. Would I stop performing this task? Never. Despite the changes over time, it is still done for the same reason – love. Sometimes I bring my husband’s tea, wake him gently, have a brief conversation, and then I go off for a run. It’s all good. But if I return an hour later and the tea is untouched, my husband is back in dreamland and he intends to travel with me to Owen Sound…well, that’s a different scenario entirely.

The beautiful thing about Lent is how it calls us to deeper prayer, increased alms-giving, with greater attention to others’ needs over our own; and a call to fast, to abstain. We set out on our Lenten journey with the best of intentions but sometimes life gets in the way and we are thrown off track. Our Lenten practice need not be complicated. We can begin in our very own homes, performing simple tasks with greater love and care. Fasting from angry words and quick tempered reactions. Little things like these spill over into our daily lives and beyond our homes. Sometimes we place heavy burdens on ourselves that we cannot keep up and rather than simplify the course of our Lenten journey – we give up. Never give up. Keep it simple. I’ve said it before – Jesus – Others – You. The proper perspective will bring you JOY through Lent!

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Going Back a Few Years (in loving memory)

Post author By admin
Post date March 17, 2017
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This one’s going to be about my sister Patti. Patricia Luca, the one we have been praying for since last June, when the doctors found a large mass in her colon which had spread to other vital organs in her body. The impact for me at that time was like getting a phone call saying, ‘your sister has been in a car crash and we don’t think she’s going to make it.’ I’ve been reeling ever since. The whole family is in shock – our baby sister. People ask me all the time, “How’s your sister doing?” And I don’t know what to say. Well, what I always say is, ‘if she walked into this room right now, you would not know she was sick.’ There’s a bounce to her step and a sparkle in her eyes that the gravest reports from her doctors cannot diminish.

Patti has always towered over me and, consequently, most people assumed she was older, when we were growing up. It’s not just her stature but her ability to commandeer a conversation. If someone asked me a question, she would answer for me (when I was in my 20s even!). It annoyed her, everyone always thinking she was the elder sibling, to which I would helpfully reply, “Well quit taking over every situation, why don’t you?”

There are four years between the two of us and it took a long time for us to become close. It was my own friends, in high school, who liked having her around, hanging out with us. She was funny and a good fit. When she would come to visit me at university, in Boston, she charmed my roommates. Walking down a city street, talking away, she would stop, mid-sentence, to say hello to a passerby. She was in high school when my parents decided to move to our summer home in Maine year round. I worried that my sister would never be able to live safely in a city again, she was too friendly and naïve.

When she was in university, she spent her junior year abroad, in Switzerland. She studied German in preparation for her stay and found herself in a French speaking canton. It took some time before her high school French came back to her, but when I arrived in March, to spend a month with her, she was fluent in both languages – German and French. She amazed me then; she amazes me still.

Now, with three beautiful grown kids, she finds herself gravely facing mortality. Patti does not focus on gravity, or mortality. Her husband tells me how much the nurses love her when she goes for her chemo treatments. ‘She’s got them laughing within minutes of her arrival. She’s not their typical cancer patient,’ he says with a smile on a worried face.

I know so many of you are facing this very same situation. I know each member of our parish family has a similar story to tell. This is my story. Thank you for your prayers, I will pray for you and the one that’s in your heart.