Category: love

Who’s in Charge?

Last Saturday I was dusting the living room, when, on the table where the orchids stood, I found a card, just sitting there. It said, “Good Morning! This is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help, so enjoy your day.”

I looked up, I looked around. I don’t know where the card came from or how it got there (my husband was on a camping trip with our son and grandson, so there was no one to ask), but the warmth I felt from reading that card, was indescribable.

I promptly set down my duster, sauntered into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Basking in that warmth, I sipped my tea while reading a good book. In time I wandered back into the living room and looked around.

“Ah,” I said, looking heavenward, “my strong aversion to house-work is not one of those problems you were talking about. Deeper problems are more your concern. I get it.”

Still, those kind words had lifted me up and I did have that nice little respite with the cup of tea, so I was refreshed and ready to resume the task at hand.

How often do we forget who’s in charge? How often do we go through our days with lists of things we must do, people we must see, jobs we must complete, with no thought of God and what he has in mind for us?

Or, do you ever have this feeling? An overwhelming sense that you are doing God’s will. You get all puffed up with this thought, immersed in this sense of the Divine that you sit back, bringing your work to a standstill. Well that’s not what God has in mind either. We may feel his commendation, his support, but he does expect us to get the work done.

The problems he offers to handle for us are the heavy ones, the burdens too heavy for us to carry alone. Over time, we begin to wonder how we can possibly get through – tragedies, illnesses, deaths of our loved ones…

“Good morning!” he says, “This is God. I will be handling all your problems today, I will not need your help, so enjoy your day.” If we sit in quiet contemplation, we will know this; we will know he is there, we will feel his presence. We don’t need a little card sitting on a table to remind us that God is always there for us. Still, a card from a loved one is always welcome, isn’t it? Enjoy your day.

Faith family God Humor Listening love Mercy

Lessons Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on our recent holiday. No, it wasn’t that I should never trust Google Maps to tell me precisely how long it takes to get from point A to point B. I fall for that every time, and will probably continue to do so. And no, it wasn’t that I should give up fighting with my husband and the GPS when I think I know the right way to go. Where’s the fun in that?

No, the lesson I learned was a far greater one; a fault to which we all succumb, periodically, one we must continually guard against – judging.

We traveled to St. John, New Brunswick to attend the wedding of a young man I have refered to for decades as my ‘3^rd’ son. We’ve known him since he and our oldest son were three years of age. Our son has been married for 13 years and has three children. My ‘3^rd’ son has taken longer to find himself and longer still to find the one to share the rest of his life with. In his search, he has also ‘found God.’ Though we of strong Christian faith know God is never lost, for those who ‘find him,’ we can only rejoice.

I’ve kept up with my ‘3^rd’ son’s progress in his faith on Facebook. Despite the teasing given him by many of his contemporaries, Devon has boldly displayed his joy and his faith on social media.

Frequently present in many of the postings, was the young minister who had helped Devon find his way. I didn’t like that guy. There was something about him I did not feel was sincere, and I worried for Devon that his faith would be built solely on this one person who might, at some point betray his trust. I told my sons who were astounded that I would be so judgmental of someone I had never met. I couldn’t help it. That was how I felt.

Well, don’t you just love God’s sense of humor? Can you guess who I found myself sitting beside at the reception? This young minister who had performed the wedding ceremony (he had done a beautiful job, I had to grudgingly admit). I was in the company of this man, his lovely wife and their two little girls. At first I was wishing to be any place but where I found myself. He immediately turned to me, introduced himself, his wife and his daughters and before the bride and groom cut the cake, I was smitten. This young minister had a love of life and an exuberance of faith that was indeed sincere. And the very act of meeting him taught me such a valuable lesson.

One of the problems with Facebook is how superficial much of it seems and is and it can skew our perceptions without our even being aware. I was quick to let my sons know how wrong my presumptions were and how wrong it is to make such baseless judgements. Though I may make many mistakes over and over again – like arguing with the GPS and planning an itinerary based on Google Maps determination of distance and time, I pray that God will continually bring my thoughts back to Devon’s wedding and the important lesson I learned there.

Catholic coping Death Faith family God love Stength Trust

Love and Faith

Many years ago, the year after my brother-in-law died, my sister was visiting and when we got back to the house, I played a message that was left on the answering machine. It was from my son and he ended with, “I love you.” I looked at my sister, who heard the message too, “That,” I said, “has been happening ever since Jake died.” Tears immediately came to her eyes. Mine too.

Death touches us in many and varying ways. Our sons were in their early 20s when their uncle died. They’re in their late 30s now, they both end each phone conversation with, “Love you, mom.” And now their cousin has died. 10 – 11 years older than my sons, but the impact is great.

Amy’s funeral was at St. Mary’s church in Ayer, Massachusetts and the priest knew her well. His homily touched everyone – non-believers as well as the many congregants who came in shock and sorrow to say goodbye to a wonderful, giving and loving woman. Our sons were touched too. They, as so many did, commented on the priest’s homily.

‘God is love,’ he said, ‘and Amy lived that love that comes from God. Now Amy is gone and it is up to every one of us to fill that gap that’s left behind. All that she did; all the love that she gave; it’s up to us to fill that gap – to spread that love that she spread, wherever we can – in her honor.’ Our sons were listening, and they’ve taken those words to heart.

You know, we as parents do not have to preach, there’s really no need. We simply live our love and faith as best we can and let God do the rest. And do not think for a moment that God will not take care of things. Be still and know that I am God. Ps. 46.10

coping Faith God love Prayer Spiritual Renewal Stength Trust

The Nature of Things

The heavens are telling the glory of God

And all creation is shouting for joy.

Come dance in the forest, come play in the fields

And sing, sing to the glory of the Lord.

My heart was bursting with this hymn the other morning on my run. The sky was azure blue, birds’ song filled the air, the temperature was perfect.

If only every day was like that. Then there are those ‘why me, Lord?’ kind of days that go downhill from breakfast, or the morning commute. Life can get pretty hectic, chaotic even. We get tired and grouchy and we just want the world to stop. That’s a natural reaction to a day gone wrong. But that’s exactly the time to turn to others; concentrate on the needs of others. If we would just open our eyes and look around us, we’d see family members, friends, and acquaintances struggling with far greater concerns. Some are plagued with money troubles, others marital difficulties and then there are those with life-threatening illnesses – some are facing many of these things all at once. We have all been witness to those who have endured one trial after another and we wonder how they do it. How do they go on, stay sane, maintain their dignity, hold their heads high?

There’s an age-old expression that tells us God never gives us more than he feels we can handle. This is actually believed to be a twisted paraphrasing of 1 Corinthians 10:13. “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.”

Sadly, some can’t endure it. They are struck down and never seem to recover. Then there are those who bounce back, get up on their feet again and again, ever moving forward. They are truly blessed because they know that God will not test them beyond their strength; they trust that their burdens are not unlike others and God will help them through, he will provide them with a way out. They know love. Surely, I could not deal with all they’re going through, we say to ourselves. But we could. We have. We are those people – when we trust in the love that is God…and sing – sing to the glory of the Lord.

coping Faith family God love Stength Trust

Love and Admiration

When my boys were 9 and 10, my sister’s girls were right into their teens – I did not envy Jean at that time. Boys are easier, was my mantra. I would repeat it time and time again, as I pulled them off one another, wrestling on the floor. Then, in a flash, my boys were in their teens and my sister’s daughters were in their mid-twenties, married, and at that point in time that every parent longs for – they regarded my sister as if she really did know what she was talking about. The tables turned. I envied my sister. She called one day bursting with happy news – both of her daughters were expecting, due dates one month apart. I envied her even more. Mothers of sons can never know that intimate bond mothers and daughters share, especially when they begin to have babies. My nieces chose loving, caring husbands who grew close as brothers themselves.

This family of my sister’s is a thing to behold. When Jean lost her husband, over a decade ago, in a tragic accident, those kids – daughters and sons-in-law – formed a loving, protective shield around Jean until she was ready to face the world again.

They are a unit of love and strength and it’s a good thing, too, because they are once more faced with tragedy. Jean’s youngest daughter has been diagnosed with a rare and fatal brain disease – incurable, untreatable, and, though the family is reeling, they will not falter. My sister says that, since her daughter’s diagnosis, the family has gathered every night for dinner, prepared by her oldest daughter and her husband, who live and work an hour away. The beauty of this family is that their faith and strength is not simply in one another, it is, more importantly, in God. There has not been any blame expressed; no anger directed at God. Why? What would be the point? This family knows well, it is God who helps us through these unthinkable trials; they need him more than ever.

When we are faced with difficult situations – tragedies – we need to focus on our blessings, we cannot be so completely dragged down by the events before us that we cannot see what God has given us…to help us through. He gives us one another; he gives us love and strength through each other.

My sister and her family know this and count on it and are blessed with it. I never really did envy my sister. Admiration is a better word. I have always admired her – her strength, her love, her faith, and how she and her family use God’s gifts – to grow.

Easter Faith God Humor love Mercy Patience Social Awareness Trust

Easter Hope

Post author By admin
Post date May 1, 2019
No Comments on Easter Hope

Again this Easter, our family gathered to celebrate, not only the glory of Easter Sunday, but four birthdays. It was a joyous day. As I cleaned, and baked, and prepared the house for guests…I grew weary. Wouldn’t it be nice, I thought, if one of my daughters-in-law offered to host Easter one time. But then, I told myself, when would you take such care with your spring cleaning? Would you look after these corners, these nooks and crannies where the spiders leave their webs? This is good for you, I told myself. Stop complaining.

It really is good for us to make that extra effort – to serve. Ever mindful of Lazarus’ sisters, I tried my hardest (this time) to be Mary and not Martha when everyone gathered. I wanted to be attentive to my guests, not worrying about the cooking and the smaller details. I think I’m getting better at it in my old age, I truly did enjoy this Easter celebration.

The grandchildren discovered the gold finches flocking to the bird feeders and suddenly, I found the three oldest ones standing in the yard, under the feeders, their arms outstretched, motionless as statues, birdseed in each hand. “For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these…” I thought as I stood and watched them. I saw trust, hope, faith and love being demonstrated by their patient waiting, their outstretched arms. One gold finch did alight to snatch a seed from my granddaughter’s open hand, and that made the others ever hopeful.

After dinner, sitting at the table with our sons and daughters-in-law, we talked of world issues; I mentioned a book I had been reading throughout Lent, which urged the need to follow Jesus’ teaching on the Beatitudes. My one daughter-in-law, who had no religious upbringing, asked me what I was talking about. I quoted a bit from the Sermon on the Mount – blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. We talked about the need to help the poor. “But why?” she said. “Why can’t they help themselves?”

My husband explained to her how many people have grown up without love, without direction, in an ongoing cycle of abuse and neglect – alcoholism and drugs…it’s difficult to pull one’s self out of that without help, he said. She had not looked at it in that way before. Her eyes were opened a bit on Easter Sunday. Her oldest child, her 11 year old son, sat quietly, listening and absorbing all that was being said. We are sowing seeds, I thought to myself.

I’ve mentioned before that our kids are not practicing Catholics, but they take part in these discussions. We just speak of real issues that call for compassion and love and we go on sowing the seeds.

Like the little children, we must continue to grow in trust, hope, faith and love – with much patience, and arms outstretched.

love Uncategorized

Will They Know?

…And they’ll know we are Christians, by our love, by our love, yes they’ll know we are Christians by our love (Peter Scholtes). Would they know you are Christian by your love? I often ask myself that question. I hope the answer is yes…not yes, sometimes…when I’m not hungry, tired, or driving my car, but yes – always. That’s a tall order, but it’s something that should always be at the forefront of our minds, always present in our thoughts. By the things I do and say; by the way I treat others; through gestures, expressions, the tone of my voice, would they know? Can they tell? Is it obvious, without being forced, fake or over the top? It’s not just how I appear outwardly. I may go to Mass regularly, receive the sacraments faithfully, but do I love? St. Paul says: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor. 13.1-3

Like I said, it’s a tall order, but it is what we are called to do, to live, to be. How can we live this love we are called to? Well, for starters, let’s look at the world, and each individual in it, positively. Negativity is an unhealthy practice. If those around us are negative, constantly grumbling, we could leave them to it and find more positive people with whom to associate…or, we could try to lift them up and out of their grumbling. Point out those things they could be happy about, try to steer them away from all that’s wrong with the world, with their lives. Another way to show love is to show gratitude, daily. If our attitude is positive, gratitude will come very easily to us. If our attitude is positive, we will enhance the lives of those around us and they may go on to do the same for others – like dropping a pebble in a pond, the ripple effect will go on and on and on, and then, yes, ‘See how they love one another,’ people will say.

Over the years, in a file on my computer, I have been compiling a list of quotes that hit me when I first read them. This one, by St. Francis of Assisi, is one to commit to memory: You may be the only Gospel your neighbor ever reads. Make it a good and loving read, so that they will know.

Catholic coping Faith family Humor love Prayer

Once a Mother…

As a mother with young children, I would often ponder Mary, the Mother of God. Did she have days of exhaustion and frustration chasing after her toddler? When he hit the terrible 2s, how did she deal with that? If he was slightly defiant at 12, what was her son like as a teenager? ‘I don’t care if you are the son of God – you clean up this room!’ It often helped me to cope, picturing our Blessed Mother enduring the same trials of motherhood. I know, I know, hers was the incarnate son of God, but, as a teenager…it’s possible there were parental struggles. I clung to that, anyway.

One of my favorite stories of Mary, is that of the wedding feast, when she tells the steward to, ‘do whatever he tells you to do.’ I can almost picture Jesus rolling his eyes. “Mom.” He was a grown man and there was his mother, situated in the midst of his personal life. I have tried my best to avoid being obtrusive in my sons’ lives. But when situations arise whereupon a mother is sought, well, I’m like that obnoxious kid in class, arm waving frantically in the air – pick me, pick me!

A few weeks ago, I had my pre-Christmas weekend all planned – finishing up my Christmas projects and shopping. A call from my daughter-in-law changed all that. Now, granted, I was called because her mother is wintering in Mexico, but let’s not split hairs – I was called. I was needed.

It happened that my son was in the hospital (I hope I would have been called first, regardless of where her mother was, but I dare not assume). Thankfully, it was not a serious illness, though it was a debilitating one and he was hospitalized for two nights. As his wife flitted from hospital to home, I was the constant for my one year old grandson.

When your child is going through a difficult time, no matter his age, you worry. Again, picture our Blessed Mother and all that she had to endure, with all that Jesus had to endure. Ponder that when times are tough. As Jesus suffered, so did his Mother. It matters not, the age of our children – they are our children. When they are sick, when they are suffering, we suffer too.

One of the constants we as Catholics have in our lives, is Mary, the Mother of God – intercessor for us all. As our kids turn to us when they need help – let us then turn to our eternal Mother. Mary, Holy Mother of God, pray for us.

Faith family love Patience

Looking to the Future

In the spring, I went on a cruise with my two sisters. We were once five sisters, now we are three (our two brothers were not invited on this excursion). Joan is the oldest (by default) and so am I now the youngest. Our memories, for we talked endlessly of the past, are both sweet and sad. We had wanted to take this cruise ever since Patti’s diagnosis, but timing was always off, especially with Patricia’s treatments and checkups. It took four years since her death to coordinate it all – and my two sisters are retired! They’re busy women, busier than I.

As we moved about the ship, as we sat and talked, as we ventured out on excursions, I saw my future. Jean, the middle child, is hopelessly directionally challenged. She practically needed a string, attached to our cabin door, to find her way back…even after a week of going and coming. I mean, all of us McDonalds are directionally challenged, but Jean wins the prize, though it was not always thus.

Joan suffers a neuropathy that leaves her limbs feeling like lead weights by the end of the day, she could not walk too far, too fast and rested often – she used to walk three miles daily. It scared me a bit, to see my sisters in this gradual decline. Where will I be in five years…in nine?

We did have some lively discussions – with Jean leaning to the left, Joan to the right and me trying to balance things out in the middle. And we laughed and laughed and laughed – that was the best part, that we could be ourselves, express our views and still love and laugh.

Despite the failing limbs and bad memory, they are vital, active women and I hope to emulate them…in five and nine years? Jean’s a writer, she’s involved with a poetry group, a writers’ group, a book club and, every week she brings Communion to the sick in hospital.

Joan had just returned from the Holy Land, less than two weeks before she packed up to join us on the cruise. She had another bag packed in her car so that, when we disembarked from the ship, she was off to the airport to fly to her daughter’s for her grandson’s graduation from high school. She, when she’s home, is on the RCIA team and volunteers every Monday at the soup kitchen affiliated with her church. They live their lives and, most importantly, they live their faith in beautiful ways. Since I was a kid I have looked up to these two and, all these decades later, I still aspire to be like them. I am blessed to have these examples of strong lived faith in my life. The future looks good.

Catholic community Faith love Patience Trust Uncategorized

Let’s Not Be Judgey

When you’re at Mass, do you sometimes sneak a sidewise glance at someone near you, your mind wandering from the Liturgy to instead think about how this one is dressed, how that one looks, health-wise, and what’s going on with her hair? Oh, come on, I’m sure I’m not the only one. Hard as we try, we sometimes lose the battle to keep focused; we fight but lose the war against judging our neighbours. Most of the time it’s harmless mind rambling. It’s not gossip, we’re simply giving in to the chatter going on in our heads. With the smallest amount of effort, we can pull ourselves back to the Liturgy and our involvement in it.
I often make assumptions – about events, situations and, most especially people – and in my assumptions, I judge. This has tripped me up more times than I care to recount, but I must, otherwise I will never be able to move on; I will never be able to grow in charity and love. Our mind wanderings and assumptions can become dangerous, I think, when we step across the boundary of harmless rambling thoughts to observing how those around us pray and worship – and we judge. We have our way of doing things, and if others aren’t in alignment with us – we judge. This is not good for us and it’s certainly not good for our neighbour. This can lead to an unhealthy us vs them mentality, setting us off in the wrong direction.
The apostles, constantly ran up against division from the people they were striving to serve. Even amongst themselves, at times, they fought over one issue or another. It happens. But there are large issues and then there are small issues. How you pray, as opposed to how I pray; how you practice your faith in comparison to how I live mine, in my mind, is a small issue.
Based on St. Paul’s teachings, Marty Haugen’s beautiful hymn tells us, ‘We are many parts, we are all one body.’ A tapestry of woven threads that, in its entirety, in the light of the Liturgy, the Sacraments, the Body and Blood of Christ – we are woven into one baptized people. So you see? There’s no reason to judge. We are all gathered together for the very same reason – our faith. Let us extol our love for God in our love for one another, and let us be joyful!