Category: family

Spend Some Time with Kids

Post author By admin
Post date November 7, 2019
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Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mt 19.14, Lk 18.16)

So often, we adults, in our conversing , can drag each other down with the weight of the world, with the negativity of our words. I can’t take too much of that. I have to walk away. Yes, I know the world is in a terrible state, and perhaps there’s reason to despair, but we cannot move forward and grow when we’re dragged down so. I’m the perennial optimist, I believe firmly that prayerful positivity will get us through. God has never, nor will he ever abandon us. So get out of that negative rut. Go spend some time with happy, fun-loving, trusting children.

I did that just last week – spent the weekend with three of my four grandchildren, the three oldest. We began with a trip to Toronto, getting lost, as Grandma is wont to do.

“I didn’t know people in Toronto were so nice,” said my 10 year old granddaughter, when a gentleman in a pickup truck let me go ahead of him, seeing, no doubt, the look of absolute panic and confusion on my countenance.

We were in the city for a performance of Cirque du Soleil, and I would venture to say, the magic of this show is best enjoyed through the eyes of children. They were mesmerized, they were awestruck, enthralled and oh-so-grateful. They thanked me at least a dozen times each. It was a delight for me to experience the show through the wonder and joy of my grandchildren.

How do we go from wonder-filled, joyful children to skeptical, distrusting adults? As faith-filled Christians, we must be doing something wrong, if we do not hold the wonder and joy of God in our hearts. How do we recapture that trust and wonder? The next time a group of adults is sitting around despairing over the state our country, our world, slip away, find a quiet spot – a church is best – and pray. Does that sound too simplistic? Perhaps, but, as Jesus says, the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

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Lessons Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on our recent holiday. No, it wasn’t that I should never trust Google Maps to tell me precisely how long it takes to get from point A to point B. I fall for that every time, and will probably continue to do so. And no, it wasn’t that I should give up fighting with my husband and the GPS when I think I know the right way to go. Where’s the fun in that?

No, the lesson I learned was a far greater one; a fault to which we all succumb, periodically, one we must continually guard against – judging.

We traveled to St. John, New Brunswick to attend the wedding of a young man I have refered to for decades as my ‘3^rd’ son. We’ve known him since he and our oldest son were three years of age. Our son has been married for 13 years and has three children. My ‘3^rd’ son has taken longer to find himself and longer still to find the one to share the rest of his life with. In his search, he has also ‘found God.’ Though we of strong Christian faith know God is never lost, for those who ‘find him,’ we can only rejoice.

I’ve kept up with my ‘3^rd’ son’s progress in his faith on Facebook. Despite the teasing given him by many of his contemporaries, Devon has boldly displayed his joy and his faith on social media.

Frequently present in many of the postings, was the young minister who had helped Devon find his way. I didn’t like that guy. There was something about him I did not feel was sincere, and I worried for Devon that his faith would be built solely on this one person who might, at some point betray his trust. I told my sons who were astounded that I would be so judgmental of someone I had never met. I couldn’t help it. That was how I felt.

Well, don’t you just love God’s sense of humor? Can you guess who I found myself sitting beside at the reception? This young minister who had performed the wedding ceremony (he had done a beautiful job, I had to grudgingly admit). I was in the company of this man, his lovely wife and their two little girls. At first I was wishing to be any place but where I found myself. He immediately turned to me, introduced himself, his wife and his daughters and before the bride and groom cut the cake, I was smitten. This young minister had a love of life and an exuberance of faith that was indeed sincere. And the very act of meeting him taught me such a valuable lesson.

One of the problems with Facebook is how superficial much of it seems and is and it can skew our perceptions without our even being aware. I was quick to let my sons know how wrong my presumptions were and how wrong it is to make such baseless judgements. Though I may make many mistakes over and over again – like arguing with the GPS and planning an itinerary based on Google Maps determination of distance and time, I pray that God will continually bring my thoughts back to Devon’s wedding and the important lesson I learned there.

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Love and Faith

Many years ago, the year after my brother-in-law died, my sister was visiting and when we got back to the house, I played a message that was left on the answering machine. It was from my son and he ended with, “I love you.” I looked at my sister, who heard the message too, “That,” I said, “has been happening ever since Jake died.” Tears immediately came to her eyes. Mine too.

Death touches us in many and varying ways. Our sons were in their early 20s when their uncle died. They’re in their late 30s now, they both end each phone conversation with, “Love you, mom.” And now their cousin has died. 10 – 11 years older than my sons, but the impact is great.

Amy’s funeral was at St. Mary’s church in Ayer, Massachusetts and the priest knew her well. His homily touched everyone – non-believers as well as the many congregants who came in shock and sorrow to say goodbye to a wonderful, giving and loving woman. Our sons were touched too. They, as so many did, commented on the priest’s homily.

‘God is love,’ he said, ‘and Amy lived that love that comes from God. Now Amy is gone and it is up to every one of us to fill that gap that’s left behind. All that she did; all the love that she gave; it’s up to us to fill that gap – to spread that love that she spread, wherever we can – in her honor.’ Our sons were listening, and they’ve taken those words to heart.

You know, we as parents do not have to preach, there’s really no need. We simply live our love and faith as best we can and let God do the rest. And do not think for a moment that God will not take care of things. Be still and know that I am God. Ps. 46.10

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Love and Admiration

When my boys were 9 and 10, my sister’s girls were right into their teens – I did not envy Jean at that time. Boys are easier, was my mantra. I would repeat it time and time again, as I pulled them off one another, wrestling on the floor. Then, in a flash, my boys were in their teens and my sister’s daughters were in their mid-twenties, married, and at that point in time that every parent longs for – they regarded my sister as if she really did know what she was talking about. The tables turned. I envied my sister. She called one day bursting with happy news – both of her daughters were expecting, due dates one month apart. I envied her even more. Mothers of sons can never know that intimate bond mothers and daughters share, especially when they begin to have babies. My nieces chose loving, caring husbands who grew close as brothers themselves.

This family of my sister’s is a thing to behold. When Jean lost her husband, over a decade ago, in a tragic accident, those kids – daughters and sons-in-law – formed a loving, protective shield around Jean until she was ready to face the world again.

They are a unit of love and strength and it’s a good thing, too, because they are once more faced with tragedy. Jean’s youngest daughter has been diagnosed with a rare and fatal brain disease – incurable, untreatable, and, though the family is reeling, they will not falter. My sister says that, since her daughter’s diagnosis, the family has gathered every night for dinner, prepared by her oldest daughter and her husband, who live and work an hour away. The beauty of this family is that their faith and strength is not simply in one another, it is, more importantly, in God. There has not been any blame expressed; no anger directed at God. Why? What would be the point? This family knows well, it is God who helps us through these unthinkable trials; they need him more than ever.

When we are faced with difficult situations – tragedies – we need to focus on our blessings, we cannot be so completely dragged down by the events before us that we cannot see what God has given us…to help us through. He gives us one another; he gives us love and strength through each other.

My sister and her family know this and count on it and are blessed with it. I never really did envy my sister. Admiration is a better word. I have always admired her – her strength, her love, her faith, and how she and her family use God’s gifts – to grow.

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Once a Mother…

As a mother with young children, I would often ponder Mary, the Mother of God. Did she have days of exhaustion and frustration chasing after her toddler? When he hit the terrible 2s, how did she deal with that? If he was slightly defiant at 12, what was her son like as a teenager? ‘I don’t care if you are the son of God – you clean up this room!’ It often helped me to cope, picturing our Blessed Mother enduring the same trials of motherhood. I know, I know, hers was the incarnate son of God, but, as a teenager…it’s possible there were parental struggles. I clung to that, anyway.

One of my favorite stories of Mary, is that of the wedding feast, when she tells the steward to, ‘do whatever he tells you to do.’ I can almost picture Jesus rolling his eyes. “Mom.” He was a grown man and there was his mother, situated in the midst of his personal life. I have tried my best to avoid being obtrusive in my sons’ lives. But when situations arise whereupon a mother is sought, well, I’m like that obnoxious kid in class, arm waving frantically in the air – pick me, pick me!

A few weeks ago, I had my pre-Christmas weekend all planned – finishing up my Christmas projects and shopping. A call from my daughter-in-law changed all that. Now, granted, I was called because her mother is wintering in Mexico, but let’s not split hairs – I was called. I was needed.

It happened that my son was in the hospital (I hope I would have been called first, regardless of where her mother was, but I dare not assume). Thankfully, it was not a serious illness, though it was a debilitating one and he was hospitalized for two nights. As his wife flitted from hospital to home, I was the constant for my one year old grandson.

When your child is going through a difficult time, no matter his age, you worry. Again, picture our Blessed Mother and all that she had to endure, with all that Jesus had to endure. Ponder that when times are tough. As Jesus suffered, so did his Mother. It matters not, the age of our children – they are our children. When they are sick, when they are suffering, we suffer too.

One of the constants we as Catholics have in our lives, is Mary, the Mother of God – intercessor for us all. As our kids turn to us when they need help – let us then turn to our eternal Mother. Mary, Holy Mother of God, pray for us.

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Looking to the Future

In the spring, I went on a cruise with my two sisters. We were once five sisters, now we are three (our two brothers were not invited on this excursion). Joan is the oldest (by default) and so am I now the youngest. Our memories, for we talked endlessly of the past, are both sweet and sad. We had wanted to take this cruise ever since Patti’s diagnosis, but timing was always off, especially with Patricia’s treatments and checkups. It took four years since her death to coordinate it all – and my two sisters are retired! They’re busy women, busier than I.

As we moved about the ship, as we sat and talked, as we ventured out on excursions, I saw my future. Jean, the middle child, is hopelessly directionally challenged. She practically needed a string, attached to our cabin door, to find her way back…even after a week of going and coming. I mean, all of us McDonalds are directionally challenged, but Jean wins the prize, though it was not always thus.

Joan suffers a neuropathy that leaves her limbs feeling like lead weights by the end of the day, she could not walk too far, too fast and rested often – she used to walk three miles daily. It scared me a bit, to see my sisters in this gradual decline. Where will I be in five years…in nine?

We did have some lively discussions – with Jean leaning to the left, Joan to the right and me trying to balance things out in the middle. And we laughed and laughed and laughed – that was the best part, that we could be ourselves, express our views and still love and laugh.

Despite the failing limbs and bad memory, they are vital, active women and I hope to emulate them…in five and nine years? Jean’s a writer, she’s involved with a poetry group, a writers’ group, a book club and, every week she brings Communion to the sick in hospital.

Joan had just returned from the Holy Land, less than two weeks before she packed up to join us on the cruise. She had another bag packed in her car so that, when we disembarked from the ship, she was off to the airport to fly to her daughter’s for her grandson’s graduation from high school. She, when she’s home, is on the RCIA team and volunteers every Monday at the soup kitchen affiliated with her church. They live their lives and, most importantly, they live their faith in beautiful ways. Since I was a kid I have looked up to these two and, all these decades later, I still aspire to be like them. I am blessed to have these examples of strong lived faith in my life. The future looks good.

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We are Family

The daily news brings us tragedies from around the world. Sometimes we’re grief stricken by these events, other times we shake our heads and give a sad shrug. But how often do we pray? How often do we take the time to think about the people, the human beings struggling to survive in the aftermath of these disasters?

Our world is shrinking – when news events come to us within seconds; when we travel farther, more extensively than ever before – our world becomes smaller, and those effected by terrorism or natural disaster are our brothers and sisters.

Fr. Kuzma arranged a special event to mark the feast of Our Lady of the Assumption – gathering in the hall after mass for an amazing lunch prepared by several families in our faith community. My husband and I sat at a table that was occupied by three Georgian college students; three guys my husband had chatted with after Mass before. All three are from India and my husband immediately asked if their families were affected by the devastating flooding happening in southern India.

“How do you know about this?” one of the young men asked. My husband explained that we had heard about it in the news and he remembered these young men saying they were from the southern part of India. A torrent of words came forth – they shared what they knew, they talked about their fears for their families, for Kerala, and the hundreds of thousands forced to flee their homes – the lack of food and clean water…

News stories become more than just stories when you are face to face with people suffering worry for their families. Do you ever pray for these victims of tragedy? It’s time that we did. It’s time to realize we are all one family on this planet and we must care for, pray for and love one another.

Right now, at this difficult time, let us pray for Kenis, Joju, Albin, their families and the thousands of displaced people in India, struggling to survive.

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REJOICE

Post author By admin
Post date April 6, 2018
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I hope you will indulge me. This is something I wrote four years ago, but never shared. Seeing as how my sister’s birthday fell on Easter Monday, it naturally came to mind.

I’ve made several attempts to begin this piece, but it does not come as easily as some. The winter was long and difficult and spring has been resistant, all of which reflects my mood – cold and dark, slowly emerging. Through the winter months my sister’s health took a turn from which she could not come back. The weight dropped off her, pain set in, but through it all, her faith, her fight and her humor never wavered. She was a tremendous example to all the family of determination with grace and dignity. Just as our mother had been 25 years before. From Christmas on, my husband and I made plans to travel to Rhode Island to be with her, but storm after storm thwarted our efforts. When the skies would clear, the temperatures would plummet, and then we feared returning to frozen pipes. Finally, in early March we made the 11 hour journey and spent two days by her side. The priest had already anointed her, her daughter and son-in-law from Switzerland were there and we knew the end was near. In hushed voices, my niece and I talked. “She’s afraid of dying,” Jessy said, sadly. My niece did her best to give me time alone with my sister, but each time the house grew quiet, with just the two of us there, she would fall deeply asleep. She was exhausted. On the second and last day of our visit, she slept the entire time, waking only briefly. When it was time for us to leave, I knew I had to say something that would comfort her, but what? It had to be quick, but it had to calm her and ease her fears.

“Just rest,” I told her, “don’t worry about anything.”

“Oh, I wish,” she said.

“Patti,” I said, taking her hands in mine. “You are loved. You are so loved! God is love – and that is all you need to think about.”

She died four days later, in complete peace, her family told me.

Now we are in the joyful Easter season! But before we could rejoice in Easter celebration, we had to first experience Christ’s agony and death. Thankfully, our faith teaches us that the death of a loved one is not the end…but a new beginning. And how can we not rejoice in that?

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Lenten Practices

It’s Lent and we can trudge through it looking dismal, so everyone knows we’ve taken on onerous practices, or we can open our eyes to the gifts God provides us with on a daily basis – and smile.

Are you’re like me? Sometimes the smallest change of routine can throw me off balance. We were looking after our son’s dog while he and his family went on a holiday to warmer climes. Not one week, not two…but three long weeks of a four legged addition to our household. I don’t need to tell you who looked after this guest. I was the one to take him outside first thing in the morning and last thing at night. My husband, who sleeps like the dead, was nowhere near rising when Banksy and I began the day and, in the evening he had long since ascended the stairs before the dog and I were ready to retire.

Our dog sleeps in a kennel in the kitchen, my son’s dog sleeps in their bedroom…on their bed – I drew the line there, letting him sleep in our room, but on his own bed. He sleeps in quite late, my son informed me. Well, no, he only sleeps in if the people he’s sleeping with do. When I rose at 5:45, so did Banksy, rearing to go.

Change can be discombobulating, it can make us ornery and cantankerous – but when we’re doing good things for others, is that the way to do it? I don’t think so. It rather defeats the purpose. Admittedly, I was a bit ornery at the start of our new living arrangements, but, over time, a new routine developed.

We have an invisible fence for our dog and each morning I slap her collar on her and send her out the door. I soon discovered that having to go outside with Banksy in the morning allowed me to appreciate the beauty of the morning sky – the rising sun, the crisp crunch of the snow underfoot. Each evening when we’d go out one last time, I’d stare up into the night sky and marvel at the beauty and the wonder that shone down from the heavens.

An inconvenience can sometimes bring about wonderful discoveries in ourselves and in the world around us. Our three weeks of dog-sitting prepared me for Lent –showing me how change of routine (being deprived of our creature comforts) can be energizing; it taught me to adapt with a happy heart and it opened my eyes to God’s beauty and splendour. There’s no need to dismally trudge through Lent – God’s gifts are everywhere, when we open our hearts to his graces.

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Time for a Change

Look back, way back, to Christmases past. Do you have fond memories of Christmases that you share with your children, your grandchildren? Was last Christmas like those of, say 20 years ago? Of course not. Why? Because things change, situations change…and we adapt.

When my sons were in their teens, I told them they would never have to race around the country side on Christmas day, rushing to visit in-laws and us all in one day. That was something we never had to do and I told them I would not subject them to it. They stared at me blankly at the time. A decade later, when my husband and I found ourselves alone one Christmas day, I thought I would die. I didn’t. I adapted.

I’ve never been overly fond of dogs, though my husband loves them and so do our sons. Now when we all gather, there are four dogs in our midst. I’ve adapted.

I love to bake and I love getting both our sons and their families together –they are all vegans now and cooking, especially baking, is a challenge for me when they come to the house, but I’ve adapted (sort of).

When you think back on your life and how it’s changed over the years, do you consider your faith? Do you practice your faith in the same way you did 20 years ago? During this busy, hectic, shortened Advent season, take a long slow breath and reflect on that. In this last little bit of time left before we celebrate the birth of our Lord, find the time to read scripture, listen with greater care. Do the words strike you differently than they have in the past? Times change, but God is constant. He reaches out to us, calling us to live our faith more deeply; to pay greater attention to the path he is calling us to. Let us adapt to his will in this new Church year!