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Bargaining Catholic God Humor Prayer

Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Pushing the Limit

Driving along the highway in my little yellow bug, I find I’m always pushing the limit – the speed limit, that is.  If it’s 50 k/h, I bump it up to 60.  If it’s 60 k/h, I take it to 70.  80, to me, means keep it under 100.  Driving along recently, in my meditative state, I thought about how we push the limit in so many ways.  The quick check-out at the grocery store – ‘no more than 12 items’ – we sneak through with 15…or more.  ‘No trespassing!’  ‘Do not walk on the grass!’  If we’re not actually breaking, we’re at least bending the rules more often than not.  Even in the ways we pray and talk to God – we push.

In prayer, it seems, we are always bargaining, but God must be used to that. Look at the way God and Abraham haggled over Sodom.  Being fed up with the sinfulness of the place, God planned to destroy it.  Abraham dared to argue with the Lord  – “But what if there are 50 just people to be found there?  Would you wipe them away too, along with the wicked?” 

“Well, no,” says God, “for the sake of the fifty, I would not destroy the city.”  Abraham wears God down with his haggling and God, walking away (and throwing up his hands, no doubt) agrees to spare Sodom if he finds 10 just people living there.  I have always loved this bible story.  Now I know that Abraham was quite new to monotheistic worship – you know, one Deity as opposed to the many gods he had previously worshipped.  And we, on the other hand, are not.  Still, this reading tells us that God was (and still is) approachable.  And isn’t that good news? 

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Catholic Faith family God Humor

Knocking on Heaven’s Door

Travel Light?                     

A Gospel reading recently told us of Jesus sending out the Twelve, ‘Take nothing for your journey,’ he said, ‘no staff, no bag, nor bread, nor money – not even an extra tunic.’ These words made me cringe.

My husband and I went on a little camping trip in September, hauling our tiny trailer…and so much stuff! We had clothing for every type of weather, hiking boots, running shoes and sandals. We had food for two weeks when we were only gone one. We brought books, journals, meditations and daily readings (ok, those were important and used). At the last minute my husband put his guitar in the back seat of the car…it never came out of the case.

We laughed when we’d see enormous motorhomes lumbering along the road, hauling their SUVs behind. ‘Oh, they’re really roughing it,’ we’d say with a sarcastic laugh – but were we any different? No.

Away from the distractions of home, we talked of future plans, and our desire to sell our house was reignited. Where we had recently been dragging our feet, upon our return home we jumped right in and began the frightening process of preparing our house for sale. Talk about stuff! Anyone who has resided in one place for 30 years knows what I’m talking about.

How and why do we accumulate more than we need; more than we could possibly use in a lifetime? We’ve been donating like mad, so many trips to the second hand stores…so many trips to the dump…and so much still to hide and store!

Our house is now ‘staged’ for sale – not practical, not comfortable, but staged – to give the feeling of beauty and spaciousness. I have to admit I love the uncluttered feel of it.

‘When we move, let’s keep it simple in our new home,’ I tell my husband. He readily agrees…but will we? It’s difficult to change habits of decades, but in our daily lives; in our spiritual practices too, it helps to clean out the cobwebs (figuratively as well as literally) more regularly than we actually do. The trick is to keep the cobwebs from reappearing; keep the clutter out of our houses…our minds and our hearts as well – not staged for show, but transformed with a greater understanding of what’s important to God…and where he is leading us.                                   

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Catholic Faith God Prayer Trust

Are You a Timid Catholic?

Sometimes I could kick myself for being so timid, for not speaking up, for remaining silent where my faith is concerned. My non-Catholic, non-Christian friends do know my faith. In my timidity, I’m careful not to preach, but I have made my beliefs clearly known. Still, I’m too cautious, too careful, and, to the outside world, my gentle whispers of faith do nothing to bring forth the kingdom of God.

Recently, a dear friend of mine told me of her personal struggles over lunch. She was a member of the writing group I started several years ago – the best writer of the group – who has since moved to Stayner. I miss her talented insight, so we meet when we can for lunch every few months.  When she told me of the difficulties she was having within her family, my immediate thought was: I will pray for you, but I did not say it out loud – why not?

When we were parting, we hugged, I may have to become Catholic, she said, so I can pray about this.

Ah, I said, so I can pray for you then?

   Absolutely, she said. And that’s when I could have kicked myself, for not immediately offering to do so.

I believe in the power of prayer, but I often feel that, to a non-Christian, the words I’ll pray for you have little meaning. That’s the wrong kind of thinking – how does one proclaim the Good News if one is only willing to preach to the choir, so to speak.

How can we become bolder Catholics without pushing people away? Fr. Kuzma spoke, last week, of bringing about positive change with humility and love – the foundations of our faith. If we approach situations with humility; if our love is visible in our words and actions – how can we offend?

We don’t have to become loud and bold; we don’t have to change overnight. Let’s begin with prayer – a powerful element of our faith. I got the message loud and clear from my friend that day.

“I will pray for you,” said with heartfelt compassion and love, is the best way I can think of to begin a bolder approach, beyond our safe community of faith. And who knows, perhaps those very prayers will bring others to say – “I want what you have. I want God in my life too.” We can only hope (and pray).

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Catholic community Faith family God Joy Prayer Spiritual Renewal

Come Home

Before I was married, I spent a year on an island, teaching in a one-room school house. The population of the island was about 100 and there was no church of any denomination. The school teacher (me) and my aid lived in the ‘parsonage,’ which was where the minister would come and stay in the summer months.

The island is approximately 35 kilometres from the mainland (Maine) and, in those days, it was a two hour boat ride or a costly plane trip back to the real world. Every Sunday I would hike off to a jagged cliff that stood facing the east; facing Great Britain. The sea was always churned up and I loved God’s beauty and majesty on full display there. That was my church, my prayer time; my time for reflection and meditation. My faith became self-contained on that island. When I returned to ‘the real world,’ I felt I had everything I needed inside of me. It took a long while, but eventually the desire for the Eucharist drew me back to Church; to the Mass. And, when I came back I soon realized in addition to the Eucharist, the community played an essential role in growing my faith.

We’ve been deprived of the Eucharist these many months, we’ve been able to view the Mass but not participate in it.  Now the Church has opened its doors once again and this is Good News, indeed. Many, of course, have legitimate health concerns and the nightly news does nothing to alleviate their worries. They are afraid to go out in public, the coronavirus is still a force in the world; it’s real, and it’s very dangerous for those people. We must respect each individual’s approach to their new normal. But, perhaps some of the rest of us have adjusted to life without Church, without the Eucharist – our faith has become self-contained. I can say from experience, that kind of faith is seriously lacking, and will fail you.

During our time of self-quarantining, we were also denied the ability to visit family. Some of us did the zoom thing (some of us with great difficulty), but, just as with the Masses on YouTube, it was not very satisfying. Have you gathered with your loved ones since the restrictions have relaxed? We got together with our one son and his family as soon as we could. Our youngest son is not ready to widen his circle. He has health concerns that make him anxious about resuming outside activities. We need to respect that. Everyone needs to take the time they need and everyone else needs to understand that…just as in the return to Mass.

For those who are fearful and nervous about coming back to church, I would like to allay your fears. The Diocese has put so many safety measures in place, you’re very safe here. Everyone in the church is a distance away – in front of, behind and to the side of you. Sadly, there’s no singing, but that’s to keep us from the spray of other’s exuberant voices. There is music – beautiful, meditative music at various times during the Mass. The entire experience of gathering together – to pray, to listen to God’s Word, to sit in the same space as the priest giving us his homily, to receive the Eucharist, and to be in God’s presence and meditate – it’s like coming home. So, come on back, we need you here in our midst; you’re part of our circle, our community of faith.                                                                                    Margery Frisch

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Catholic coping Faith family love Patience Prayer Stength

Absence

It’s difficult to follow the distancing rules we’ve been given. I mean, we do it, but it, at times, makes us sad, mad, and, of course, lonely. My son drove from Collingwood to our house so that he, and my 2 ½ year old grandson could wish me a happy birthday. He wanted me to stay inside, just waving to them from the window. I said, No, I’m coming out, but then of course my grandson wanted to run to me to give me a hug. It’s difficult to explain social distancing to a 2 ½ year old, so my son held his squirming child in his arms and told him I was sick. Everyone is sick, in this poor child’s world now.

We get to see our family on Zoom gatherings and, as nice as we initially believe it to be, we want to touch and hug and be with our loved ones. It’s the same with the Mass: It’s wonderful that we are able to experience the Mass through the internet and through television, but we want to be there – we want to touch, feel and receive the Eucharist; we want to sing with fellow parishioners, to greet them and our priests. We look with longing at our beautiful church that we miss so much.

Is this how the apostles felt when Jesus went away? I think their emptiness and longing are feelings to which we can now relate. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, we certainly understand that sentiment in times like these. But we shouldn’t just sit around waiting. When Jesus ascended into heaven, though they stared up into the sky for quite some time, the apostles soon realized they had better get busy; there was work to be done.

We should not waste this time we’ve been given either. Yes, I miss Mass; I miss my daily interactions with parishioners; I miss my family… But I’m keeping busy and staying sane (I think). Attend Mass on the Internet, or on your TV; pray without ceasing! But stay busy in other ways too – if you live alone, it will help with the boredom, if you live with another, it will keep you from clobbering each other. And let’s look after our neighbours as best we can. We may be in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat, so let’s help one another. And God bless you – until we meet again.

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Catholic coping Faith God Patience Prayer Social Awareness Stength

Go to Your Room

When I was a child and I misbehaved, I was sent to my room. With seven kids, my parents couldn’t abide a household of civil unrest – nip it in the bud, was their approach, and off to my room I would go. In those days, it was a real punishment – there was only one TV in the house and that was in the den, where the rest of the family would be – laughing and enjoying the Ed Sullivan show, or I Love Lucy. I’d be alone, just listening to the fun from afar. I was supposed to be reflecting on the reason I was in the situation I was in.

Have we been sent to our rooms? Is this our time to sit and reflect on the reason we are in the situation we are in? We’re being deprived of our freedom; we’re unable to celebrate the sacraments. We can view the Mass, but we are only bystanders, observing from a distance, unable to partake of the feast. These are difficult times and all we can do is sit… and reflect.

During Lent, I chose to read a book entitled, The Love That Keeps Us Sane – living the little way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, by Fr. Marc Foley, a Discalced Carmelite priest. In light of our current situation, I couldn’t have picked a better focus for my Lenten journey. One chapter is called, the Sanity of Silence – the title, as you can imagine, is self-explanatory. Hard as I try to grasp the concept, though – I fail. When the only other person I see day after day is my husband…and things, from time to time can get tense, it’s important that I get that concept right, so I try and try again – there’s lots of time for practice.

There’s also time for prayer. Many of us feel frustrated being cooped up at home, but think of our health care workers, think of the grocery store clerks, think of all those who put themselves (and their families) at risk every day. Pray for them. Think of those who are sick with the virus; those who have died from it. Pray for them. Complain less and pray more.

Some see this tragic time as a sign of God’s anger. In my opinion, God is not an angry vengeful God. As Pope Francis says, “It is not the time of God’s judgment, but of our own…” I do not believe God causes these things to happen, but he certainly uses them as teaching moments for his children. He has sent us to our room. What can we learn from this epic time in our lives, and will we hold on to the things we have learned, to those things God wishes to teach us, once this is over?

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Catholic Faith God Lent Patience Prayer

Get Spiritually Fit

I got a Fitbit for Christmas – doesn’t just about everyone have one? I was home for several days over the holidays and it praised me constantly for my many steps, my calorie burn, my determination! Since I’ve been back to work I’m getting constant reminders…gentle nudges…little zaps, actually, telling me to get up and get moving. It got me thinking.

What if we were all equipped with a Spiritual Fitbit? Wouldn’t that be something? If we were sent gentle reminders…nudges…zaps from above, telling us to get moving, praying, reading scripture, attending Mass. I like the idea and I wish someone would create something to help us in this way. But wait a minute, someone has created a way to reach us and remind us to get spiritually fit. God the Father sent us Jesus, his son, then came the Holy Spirit; we have priests in our midst, guiding us with their homilies and reflections; we have Sacred Scripture and the Sacraments; there are books galore that can lead us closer to God and strengthen our faith.

But don’t you feel that you still need that little zap from time to time? What about when our thoughts and actions are not exactly Christ-like, wouldn’t a gentle reminder be helpful – a vibration, a jolt, something to wake us up to the fact that we have gone off track? Whispers of unkind gossip (zap), annoyance at fellow drivers (buzz), losing our temper with our spouse (zap, zap). And, of course, it’s not only in our thoughts and in our words and what we have done – but the one that trips me up every time – in what we have failed to do. That’s when I most need a zap – get up and help that person, go over and offer kind words, friendship, assistance – get moving.

At this time of year, most of my physical fitness is done on a treadmill – a lot of time and effort getting nowhere fast. I feel the birds visiting the feeders outside my window in the early morning are giving me a smug look – silly fool, can’t she see she’s not getting anywhere?

Let’s not run a spiritual treadmill – going through the motions with no progress in our faith. Lent will be here before we know it, so let’s get spiritually fit now, in Ordinary Time. That way we’ll get farther along on our Lenten journey with fewer zaps and jolts.

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Catholic family Joy love Social Awareness

The Gift is in the Giving

Last Saturday, when our family gathered to celebrate the American Thanksgiving, I sat down with three of my four grandchildren to look through the Chalice Christmas Gift Catalogue. This is not like the old Sears Christmas Wish Catalogues of the past. Since my grandchildren were very small, I have given gifts to third world countries through Chalice, in their names. Chalice is a wonderful Canadian Catholic Organization through which many in our parish have sponsored children, to help with their education, with food and clothing. Each year they send out a catalogue with everything inside from animals, crop seeds, farm tools, and school supplies, to blankets and mattresses.

When the grandkids were little, it was important to instill in them the notion that not every child had what they had; not every child had enough food to eat, proper clothing to wear; not every family had the means with which to provide these things.

I thought of this on Saturday as the three, aged 11, 10 and 8, had a lively discussion as to what gifts would provide the greatest means of support for a family. In the past, I did most of the talking and they would nod their heads in agreement. This time they looked through the catalogue and gave their own opinions. They all agreed that animals were the best choice – a pair of goats over a donkey, because a pair would give you baby goats to sell, they would give you milk and cheese, providing food for the family, as well as a livelihood. We also looked at other options – helping an orphanage, they loved that idea too, and crop seeds were an inexpensive gift that we could add to the list.

My heart was bursting when we wrapped up our discussions, circled our choices and concluded our session. They truly understood what we were doing, how we were making a difference and I could see in their faces the joy of giving from the heart and giving with love.

The things we do with our little ones – children and grandchildren – makes an impact; it leaves an impression and plants a seed in the heart. I look forward to next year when these three will help their little cousin to make equally good choices. He’s two and wouldn’t sit still this time, but next year we will till the soil and plant the seed.

Love in Action Margery Frisch

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Catholic coping Death Faith family God love Stength Trust

Love and Faith

Many years ago, the year after my brother-in-law died, my sister was visiting and when we got back to the house, I played a message that was left on the answering machine. It was from my son and he ended with, “I love you.” I looked at my sister, who heard the message too, “That,” I said, “has been happening ever since Jake died.” Tears immediately came to her eyes. Mine too.

Death touches us in many and varying ways. Our sons were in their early 20s when their uncle died. They’re in their late 30s now, they both end each phone conversation with, “Love you, mom.” And now their cousin has died. 10 – 11 years older than my sons, but the impact is great.

Amy’s funeral was at St. Mary’s church in Ayer, Massachusetts and the priest knew her well. His homily touched everyone – non-believers as well as the many congregants who came in shock and sorrow to say goodbye to a wonderful, giving and loving woman. Our sons were touched too. They, as so many did, commented on the priest’s homily.

‘God is love,’ he said, ‘and Amy lived that love that comes from God. Now Amy is gone and it is up to every one of us to fill that gap that’s left behind. All that she did; all the love that she gave; it’s up to us to fill that gap – to spread that love that she spread, wherever we can – in her honor.’ Our sons were listening, and they’ve taken those words to heart.

You know, we as parents do not have to preach, there’s really no need. We simply live our love and faith as best we can and let God do the rest. And do not think for a moment that God will not take care of things. Be still and know that I am God. Ps. 46.10

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Catholic Lent Patience Prayer Uncategorized

Try Something New

I like to keep my life in balance – mind, body, spirit and I am grateful to God every day for the ability to practice those things that keep it so. You can imagine, then, how out of balance I felt recently, when a serious fall derailed my running for a month. I moped about for a while, bought a workout video, to keep moving until I could run again…then I stopped to consider…maybe it’s not just the inability to run that’s put me out of balance. Maybe it’s time to look more deeply into my other practices, to see what else might be off kilter.

Do you ever find that, every now and then, your prayer life switches to auto-pilot? You’re going along, going through the motions, but really getting nowhere? Fortunately, Lent comes along just in the nick of time. Lent is a call to conversion; its calls us to wake up, shake off the winter lethargy and get to work.

The great thing about a new routine is the enthusiasm and renewed energy it brings with it. The workout video I purchased was just what I needed – a change of routine; and it got my looking into other routine changes in other areas of my life.

I began to seek out new reflections and meditations to better aid me in reading the daily scriptures. It got me searching for new prayers that will lead me into deeper contemplation. I’m even looking critically at my usual Lenten routines to see how I might do better, how I might make it a more meaningful and fruitful Lenten journey.

Do you give things up for Lent? Is there a purpose to it, a spiritual benefit? Not a ‘what’s in it for me,’ but ‘what’s in it for others?’ This year I’ve decided that everything I do, or refrain from doing; everything I say, or refrain from saying, will be done for the sake of others; for the wellbeing of others. As I write this I’m thinking my husband might be the greatest beneficiary of all my Lenten promises, but that’s really not a bad thing, is it?

Let’s shake things up this Lent, let’s get creative for the benefit of others. Let’s fast – from anger, from hurtful gossip, from impatience. Let’s give generously – of our time, our abundance; let’s give smiles and compliments and kind words and hugs. Let’s pray without ceasing – as we drive, walk, prepare dinner, clean the house. Try something new this Lent, shake things up and it will bring new enthusiasm to your spiritual practices, I guarantee it.