Author: admin

Finally putting myself out there (coming out of the closet, so to speak) as a writer. For many years I have been writing reflections for our Catholic church bulletin and I've decided to share them beyond our little community.

The Nature of Things

The heavens are telling the glory of God

And all creation is shouting for joy.

Come dance in the forest, come play in the fields

And sing, sing to the glory of the Lord.

My heart was bursting with this hymn the other morning on my run. The sky was azure blue, birds’ song filled the air, the temperature was perfect.

If only every day was like that. Then there are those ‘why me, Lord?’ kind of days that go downhill from breakfast, or the morning commute. Life can get pretty hectic, chaotic even. We get tired and grouchy and we just want the world to stop. That’s a natural reaction to a day gone wrong. But that’s exactly the time to turn to others; concentrate on the needs of others. If we would just open our eyes and look around us, we’d see family members, friends, and acquaintances struggling with far greater concerns. Some are plagued with money troubles, others marital difficulties and then there are those with life-threatening illnesses – some are facing many of these things all at once. We have all been witness to those who have endured one trial after another and we wonder how they do it. How do they go on, stay sane, maintain their dignity, hold their heads high?

There’s an age-old expression that tells us God never gives us more than he feels we can handle. This is actually believed to be a twisted paraphrasing of 1 Corinthians 10:13. “No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.”

Sadly, some can’t endure it. They are struck down and never seem to recover. Then there are those who bounce back, get up on their feet again and again, ever moving forward. They are truly blessed because they know that God will not test them beyond their strength; they trust that their burdens are not unlike others and God will help them through, he will provide them with a way out. They know love. Surely, I could not deal with all they’re going through, we say to ourselves. But we could. We have. We are those people – when we trust in the love that is God…and sing – sing to the glory of the Lord.

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Love and Admiration

When my boys were 9 and 10, my sister’s girls were right into their teens – I did not envy Jean at that time. Boys are easier, was my mantra. I would repeat it time and time again, as I pulled them off one another, wrestling on the floor. Then, in a flash, my boys were in their teens and my sister’s daughters were in their mid-twenties, married, and at that point in time that every parent longs for – they regarded my sister as if she really did know what she was talking about. The tables turned. I envied my sister. She called one day bursting with happy news – both of her daughters were expecting, due dates one month apart. I envied her even more. Mothers of sons can never know that intimate bond mothers and daughters share, especially when they begin to have babies. My nieces chose loving, caring husbands who grew close as brothers themselves.

This family of my sister’s is a thing to behold. When Jean lost her husband, over a decade ago, in a tragic accident, those kids – daughters and sons-in-law – formed a loving, protective shield around Jean until she was ready to face the world again.

They are a unit of love and strength and it’s a good thing, too, because they are once more faced with tragedy. Jean’s youngest daughter has been diagnosed with a rare and fatal brain disease – incurable, untreatable, and, though the family is reeling, they will not falter. My sister says that, since her daughter’s diagnosis, the family has gathered every night for dinner, prepared by her oldest daughter and her husband, who live and work an hour away. The beauty of this family is that their faith and strength is not simply in one another, it is, more importantly, in God. There has not been any blame expressed; no anger directed at God. Why? What would be the point? This family knows well, it is God who helps us through these unthinkable trials; they need him more than ever.

When we are faced with difficult situations – tragedies – we need to focus on our blessings, we cannot be so completely dragged down by the events before us that we cannot see what God has given us…to help us through. He gives us one another; he gives us love and strength through each other.

My sister and her family know this and count on it and are blessed with it. I never really did envy my sister. Admiration is a better word. I have always admired her – her strength, her love, her faith, and how she and her family use God’s gifts – to grow.

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Easter Hope

Post author By admin
Post date May 1, 2019
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Again this Easter, our family gathered to celebrate, not only the glory of Easter Sunday, but four birthdays. It was a joyous day. As I cleaned, and baked, and prepared the house for guests…I grew weary. Wouldn’t it be nice, I thought, if one of my daughters-in-law offered to host Easter one time. But then, I told myself, when would you take such care with your spring cleaning? Would you look after these corners, these nooks and crannies where the spiders leave their webs? This is good for you, I told myself. Stop complaining.

It really is good for us to make that extra effort – to serve. Ever mindful of Lazarus’ sisters, I tried my hardest (this time) to be Mary and not Martha when everyone gathered. I wanted to be attentive to my guests, not worrying about the cooking and the smaller details. I think I’m getting better at it in my old age, I truly did enjoy this Easter celebration.

The grandchildren discovered the gold finches flocking to the bird feeders and suddenly, I found the three oldest ones standing in the yard, under the feeders, their arms outstretched, motionless as statues, birdseed in each hand. “For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these…” I thought as I stood and watched them. I saw trust, hope, faith and love being demonstrated by their patient waiting, their outstretched arms. One gold finch did alight to snatch a seed from my granddaughter’s open hand, and that made the others ever hopeful.

After dinner, sitting at the table with our sons and daughters-in-law, we talked of world issues; I mentioned a book I had been reading throughout Lent, which urged the need to follow Jesus’ teaching on the Beatitudes. My one daughter-in-law, who had no religious upbringing, asked me what I was talking about. I quoted a bit from the Sermon on the Mount – blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God. We talked about the need to help the poor. “But why?” she said. “Why can’t they help themselves?”

My husband explained to her how many people have grown up without love, without direction, in an ongoing cycle of abuse and neglect – alcoholism and drugs…it’s difficult to pull one’s self out of that without help, he said. She had not looked at it in that way before. Her eyes were opened a bit on Easter Sunday. Her oldest child, her 11 year old son, sat quietly, listening and absorbing all that was being said. We are sowing seeds, I thought to myself.

I’ve mentioned before that our kids are not practicing Catholics, but they take part in these discussions. We just speak of real issues that call for compassion and love and we go on sowing the seeds.

Like the little children, we must continue to grow in trust, hope, faith and love – with much patience, and arms outstretched.

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Try Something New

I like to keep my life in balance – mind, body, spirit and I am grateful to God every day for the ability to practice those things that keep it so. You can imagine, then, how out of balance I felt recently, when a serious fall derailed my running for a month. I moped about for a while, bought a workout video, to keep moving until I could run again…then I stopped to consider…maybe it’s not just the inability to run that’s put me out of balance. Maybe it’s time to look more deeply into my other practices, to see what else might be off kilter.

Do you ever find that, every now and then, your prayer life switches to auto-pilot? You’re going along, going through the motions, but really getting nowhere? Fortunately, Lent comes along just in the nick of time. Lent is a call to conversion; its calls us to wake up, shake off the winter lethargy and get to work.

The great thing about a new routine is the enthusiasm and renewed energy it brings with it. The workout video I purchased was just what I needed – a change of routine; and it got my looking into other routine changes in other areas of my life.

I began to seek out new reflections and meditations to better aid me in reading the daily scriptures. It got me searching for new prayers that will lead me into deeper contemplation. I’m even looking critically at my usual Lenten routines to see how I might do better, how I might make it a more meaningful and fruitful Lenten journey.

Do you give things up for Lent? Is there a purpose to it, a spiritual benefit? Not a ‘what’s in it for me,’ but ‘what’s in it for others?’ This year I’ve decided that everything I do, or refrain from doing; everything I say, or refrain from saying, will be done for the sake of others; for the wellbeing of others. As I write this I’m thinking my husband might be the greatest beneficiary of all my Lenten promises, but that’s really not a bad thing, is it?

Let’s shake things up this Lent, let’s get creative for the benefit of others. Let’s fast – from anger, from hurtful gossip, from impatience. Let’s give generously – of our time, our abundance; let’s give smiles and compliments and kind words and hugs. Let’s pray without ceasing – as we drive, walk, prepare dinner, clean the house. Try something new this Lent, shake things up and it will bring new enthusiasm to your spiritual practices, I guarantee it.

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Will They Know?

…And they’ll know we are Christians, by our love, by our love, yes they’ll know we are Christians by our love (Peter Scholtes). Would they know you are Christian by your love? I often ask myself that question. I hope the answer is yes…not yes, sometimes…when I’m not hungry, tired, or driving my car, but yes – always. That’s a tall order, but it’s something that should always be at the forefront of our minds, always present in our thoughts. By the things I do and say; by the way I treat others; through gestures, expressions, the tone of my voice, would they know? Can they tell? Is it obvious, without being forced, fake or over the top? It’s not just how I appear outwardly. I may go to Mass regularly, receive the sacraments faithfully, but do I love? St. Paul says: If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 1 Cor. 13.1-3

Like I said, it’s a tall order, but it is what we are called to do, to live, to be. How can we live this love we are called to? Well, for starters, let’s look at the world, and each individual in it, positively. Negativity is an unhealthy practice. If those around us are negative, constantly grumbling, we could leave them to it and find more positive people with whom to associate…or, we could try to lift them up and out of their grumbling. Point out those things they could be happy about, try to steer them away from all that’s wrong with the world, with their lives. Another way to show love is to show gratitude, daily. If our attitude is positive, gratitude will come very easily to us. If our attitude is positive, we will enhance the lives of those around us and they may go on to do the same for others – like dropping a pebble in a pond, the ripple effect will go on and on and on, and then, yes, ‘See how they love one another,’ people will say.

Over the years, in a file on my computer, I have been compiling a list of quotes that hit me when I first read them. This one, by St. Francis of Assisi, is one to commit to memory: You may be the only Gospel your neighbor ever reads. Make it a good and loving read, so that they will know.

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Once a Mother…

As a mother with young children, I would often ponder Mary, the Mother of God. Did she have days of exhaustion and frustration chasing after her toddler? When he hit the terrible 2s, how did she deal with that? If he was slightly defiant at 12, what was her son like as a teenager? ‘I don’t care if you are the son of God – you clean up this room!’ It often helped me to cope, picturing our Blessed Mother enduring the same trials of motherhood. I know, I know, hers was the incarnate son of God, but, as a teenager…it’s possible there were parental struggles. I clung to that, anyway.

One of my favorite stories of Mary, is that of the wedding feast, when she tells the steward to, ‘do whatever he tells you to do.’ I can almost picture Jesus rolling his eyes. “Mom.” He was a grown man and there was his mother, situated in the midst of his personal life. I have tried my best to avoid being obtrusive in my sons’ lives. But when situations arise whereupon a mother is sought, well, I’m like that obnoxious kid in class, arm waving frantically in the air – pick me, pick me!

A few weeks ago, I had my pre-Christmas weekend all planned – finishing up my Christmas projects and shopping. A call from my daughter-in-law changed all that. Now, granted, I was called because her mother is wintering in Mexico, but let’s not split hairs – I was called. I was needed.

It happened that my son was in the hospital (I hope I would have been called first, regardless of where her mother was, but I dare not assume). Thankfully, it was not a serious illness, though it was a debilitating one and he was hospitalized for two nights. As his wife flitted from hospital to home, I was the constant for my one year old grandson.

When your child is going through a difficult time, no matter his age, you worry. Again, picture our Blessed Mother and all that she had to endure, with all that Jesus had to endure. Ponder that when times are tough. As Jesus suffered, so did his Mother. It matters not, the age of our children – they are our children. When they are sick, when they are suffering, we suffer too.

One of the constants we as Catholics have in our lives, is Mary, the Mother of God – intercessor for us all. As our kids turn to us when they need help – let us then turn to our eternal Mother. Mary, Holy Mother of God, pray for us.

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Looking to the Future

In the spring, I went on a cruise with my two sisters. We were once five sisters, now we are three (our two brothers were not invited on this excursion). Joan is the oldest (by default) and so am I now the youngest. Our memories, for we talked endlessly of the past, are both sweet and sad. We had wanted to take this cruise ever since Patti’s diagnosis, but timing was always off, especially with Patricia’s treatments and checkups. It took four years since her death to coordinate it all – and my two sisters are retired! They’re busy women, busier than I.

As we moved about the ship, as we sat and talked, as we ventured out on excursions, I saw my future. Jean, the middle child, is hopelessly directionally challenged. She practically needed a string, attached to our cabin door, to find her way back…even after a week of going and coming. I mean, all of us McDonalds are directionally challenged, but Jean wins the prize, though it was not always thus.

Joan suffers a neuropathy that leaves her limbs feeling like lead weights by the end of the day, she could not walk too far, too fast and rested often – she used to walk three miles daily. It scared me a bit, to see my sisters in this gradual decline. Where will I be in five years…in nine?

We did have some lively discussions – with Jean leaning to the left, Joan to the right and me trying to balance things out in the middle. And we laughed and laughed and laughed – that was the best part, that we could be ourselves, express our views and still love and laugh.

Despite the failing limbs and bad memory, they are vital, active women and I hope to emulate them…in five and nine years? Jean’s a writer, she’s involved with a poetry group, a writers’ group, a book club and, every week she brings Communion to the sick in hospital.

Joan had just returned from the Holy Land, less than two weeks before she packed up to join us on the cruise. She had another bag packed in her car so that, when we disembarked from the ship, she was off to the airport to fly to her daughter’s for her grandson’s graduation from high school. She, when she’s home, is on the RCIA team and volunteers every Monday at the soup kitchen affiliated with her church. They live their lives and, most importantly, they live their faith in beautiful ways. Since I was a kid I have looked up to these two and, all these decades later, I still aspire to be like them. I am blessed to have these examples of strong lived faith in my life. The future looks good.

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We Are All Connected

Facebook! That social phenomenon we love to hate, we try to avoid, and we can’t seem to do without. I have too many friends on Facebook. There are ‘friends’ from high school with whom I was never friends in high school. I barely remember them from those days, yet we’re friends.

Facebook is a great tool for moms with young kids to stay connected, to laugh and share common frustrations. When I was a young mother with two small toddlers, in the middle of a brutal Montreal winter, a little connectedness would have gone a long way.

My number one fixation with Facebook is my grandchildren! My daughters-in-law are great to put pictures up often and that’s all I need to make my day. It’s also a great way to stay connected with family – my niece in Switzerland, and other nieces and nephews all along the Eastern seaboard, and my sisters and sisters-in-law (my brothers don’t ‘do’ Facebook).

I have a friend with a wonderful sense of humor, but she suffers with bouts of depression. Her candidness on Facebook makes me uncomfortable on the one hand, but on the other, I admire her honesty and her ability to reach out. Most people on Facebook give us the impression their lives are a party. Laura, at least, tells the truth always.

The most curious friend I have on Facebook I have never met. We’ve been friends for nine years now. I’ve seen her children grow up, I’ve envied the trips she’s taken, the cruises, the fact that she lives in southern California…This is how we ‘met’ – in January of 2009, she did a search on Facebook – she typed in her birth name – Margery McDonald – besides her own, mine was the only other profile that came up. So we became friends. Now her husband has a rare form of cancer and is fighting for his life. Their kids are in their teens – too young to lose a parent; too young to deal with such pain.

I stay out of the political fray on Facebook; I don’t rant…and I ignore those who do. That was not the original intention of this social network – it was meant as an opportunity to connect with people – not to degrade, engage in hostile exchanges or rail against others’ political or religious leanings. Lately, I see it as an opportunity to pray – for Margery’s husband, for Laura, for my niece in Switzerland, with Crohn’s disease.

So don’t get annoyed with all the things people choose to do, say, post and vent about– pray for them; pray for your friends on Facebook; pray for people around the world. It’s a soothing response in these troubled times.

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Good Works

There’s a woman in our neighborhood who walks our road daily. She’s a saint! Every day, no matter the weather, you will find her collecting garbage – in the ditches, in the bushes, in the tall grass along the roadside. I often see her when I’m out in the early morning hours, running. We chat sometimes, and I thank her, profusely, for her tireless efforts to preserve the beauty of our country road; her constant act of picking up the trash that careless people discard as they drive by.

She hasn’t been down our way in quite a while- we live about four kilometres apart. So, when our stretch of road was recently littered with the refuse of a McDonald’s meal, I donned a pair of gloves, grabbed a garbage bag and headed out with the dog, to clean up the mess.

Now, before you say, ‘good for you,’ you must hear the rest of the story. I was angry, snatching up the burger boxes, straws, napkins and cups, and grumbling to myself. I just don’t understand people who find it acceptable to open their car window and fling their garbage onto other peoples’ property. How do they, in their right mind, justify their actions? These are not the things I muttered as I collected the remains of some family’s meal. My words, though not profane, were unkind. Ignorant was uttered more than once.

How does she do it? I wondered, plucking at the burs that caught on my socks and my sweater. How does my neighbor have the patience to pick up the garbage day after day? Over and over? How is she not frustrated by the actions of careless people and why doesn’t she just give up? The further I walked, the more I admired her spirit, her determination, her generosity…and her love.

When I take the time, God leads me, eventually, in the right direction. Two things were whispered in my ear, as I tromped along. 1.) God loves these litterers as much as he loves me; we are equal in his eyes, so I should get off my high horse right now. And 2.) my neighbor is a caring, loving person. My actions were not loving ones. I was doing the right thing in the wrong frame of mind.

The words from scripture that I, as lector, read aloud a few weeks ago, came back to haunt me. Show me your faith apart from your works, and I by my works will show you my faith. James 2.18. My works, it seems, need a bit of work, so what does that say about my faith?

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Walk in Another’s Shoes

There’s been a lot of talk lately about illegal aliens and refugees. There’s much animosity building, in many parts of the world including right here on our own continent. I think the majority of citizens in the U.S. and Canada seem to have forgotten their heritage. If our ancestors are not indigenous to this continent, then, did they not arrive here themselves, uninvited?

Sometimes, when I ‘m running, or walking our country road, or driving in my car alone, I ponder what is and what might have been. I thank God every day for my home, my family…my freedom. But what if I had not been so privileged? A wife and mother living for years on end in a refugee camp? A child born to a family fleeing violence in Iraq, or Syria? Gang violence in Mexico forcing me to flee from all that is familiar, believing that slipping into an antagonistic country illegally is a better option?

I can’t help but feel that if we all contemplated these scenarios, we might treat others more kindly. I don’t know why I’ve been given this life when hundreds of thousands suffer on a daily basis, but nothing gives me the right to feel superior; to laud it over any other human being.

I can’t begin to offer solutions to this ongoing dilemma, but I believe prayer is a powerful tool. If we pray that world leaders can come together to work out solutions; if we pray that nations, that allow these atrocities to happen, are made accountable…perhaps those countries being overrun with more immigrants than they can handle will get a respite. If these issues cannot be resolved soon, and people continue to come, can’t we accept those fleeing to our shores with kindness and respect? Our own heritage should make us stop and think – didn’t many of our ancestors suffer in a similar manner? And what if a member of your family was trying to escape violence and being denied an opportunity for a better life?

Who are our neighbours? Technology, which brings global news to us in an instant, has actually brought us in line with Jesus’ teaching – everyone is our neighbour. Let us try to be more tolerant. Let us open our hearts with compassion, and our arms with love. Let us pray.