Author: admin

Finally putting myself out there (coming out of the closet, so to speak) as a writer. For many years I have been writing reflections for our Catholic church bulletin and I've decided to share them beyond our little community.

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Catholic coping Faith family love Patience Prayer Stength

Absence

It’s difficult to follow the distancing rules we’ve been given. I mean, we do it, but it, at times, makes us sad, mad, and, of course, lonely. My son drove from Collingwood to our house so that he, and my 2 ½ year old grandson could wish me a happy birthday. He wanted me to stay inside, just waving to them from the window. I said, No, I’m coming out, but then of course my grandson wanted to run to me to give me a hug. It’s difficult to explain social distancing to a 2 ½ year old, so my son held his squirming child in his arms and told him I was sick. Everyone is sick, in this poor child’s world now.

We get to see our family on Zoom gatherings and, as nice as we initially believe it to be, we want to touch and hug and be with our loved ones. It’s the same with the Mass: It’s wonderful that we are able to experience the Mass through the internet and through television, but we want to be there – we want to touch, feel and receive the Eucharist; we want to sing with fellow parishioners, to greet them and our priests. We look with longing at our beautiful church that we miss so much.

Is this how the apostles felt when Jesus went away? I think their emptiness and longing are feelings to which we can now relate. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, we certainly understand that sentiment in times like these. But we shouldn’t just sit around waiting. When Jesus ascended into heaven, though they stared up into the sky for quite some time, the apostles soon realized they had better get busy; there was work to be done.

We should not waste this time we’ve been given either. Yes, I miss Mass; I miss my daily interactions with parishioners; I miss my family… But I’m keeping busy and staying sane (I think). Attend Mass on the Internet, or on your TV; pray without ceasing! But stay busy in other ways too – if you live alone, it will help with the boredom, if you live with another, it will keep you from clobbering each other. And let’s look after our neighbours as best we can. We may be in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat, so let’s help one another. And God bless you – until we meet again.

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Catholic coping Faith God Patience Prayer Social Awareness Stength

Go to Your Room

When I was a child and I misbehaved, I was sent to my room. With seven kids, my parents couldn’t abide a household of civil unrest – nip it in the bud, was their approach, and off to my room I would go. In those days, it was a real punishment – there was only one TV in the house and that was in the den, where the rest of the family would be – laughing and enjoying the Ed Sullivan show, or I Love Lucy. I’d be alone, just listening to the fun from afar. I was supposed to be reflecting on the reason I was in the situation I was in.

Have we been sent to our rooms? Is this our time to sit and reflect on the reason we are in the situation we are in? We’re being deprived of our freedom; we’re unable to celebrate the sacraments. We can view the Mass, but we are only bystanders, observing from a distance, unable to partake of the feast. These are difficult times and all we can do is sit… and reflect.

During Lent, I chose to read a book entitled, The Love That Keeps Us Sane – living the little way of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, by Fr. Marc Foley, a Discalced Carmelite priest. In light of our current situation, I couldn’t have picked a better focus for my Lenten journey. One chapter is called, the Sanity of Silence – the title, as you can imagine, is self-explanatory. Hard as I try to grasp the concept, though – I fail. When the only other person I see day after day is my husband…and things, from time to time can get tense, it’s important that I get that concept right, so I try and try again – there’s lots of time for practice.

There’s also time for prayer. Many of us feel frustrated being cooped up at home, but think of our health care workers, think of the grocery store clerks, think of all those who put themselves (and their families) at risk every day. Pray for them. Think of those who are sick with the virus; those who have died from it. Pray for them. Complain less and pray more.

Some see this tragic time as a sign of God’s anger. In my opinion, God is not an angry vengeful God. As Pope Francis says, “It is not the time of God’s judgment, but of our own…” I do not believe God causes these things to happen, but he certainly uses them as teaching moments for his children. He has sent us to our room. What can we learn from this epic time in our lives, and will we hold on to the things we have learned, to those things God wishes to teach us, once this is over?

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community Faith Lent love Social Action Social Awareness

Let Your Voice be Heard

When I was a student in university, in the States, back in the 70s, there were rallies and protests everywhere, against the Viet Nam war. I went to a lot of them, we all did. I haven’t joined many protests since then (any, I have not joined any since then). But I think it’s time to become a feisty senior citizen and get politically involved once again.

I like words, I like playing around with them, but lately I see words being played around with in a deceptively misleading manner. Point of fact – the abortion issue – when did the phraseology change from pro-life and abortionists to pro-choice and anti-abortionists? Did you catch it when it happened? It was a long time ago, and, because it was not met with much opposition, it stuck. The positive connotation of PRO carries a lot of weight.

Last week, while listening to the news I heard the term doctor assisted death, and I wondered when that had changed from doctor assisted suicide. Words can imperceptibly change our opinions in cunning ways. Are we just not paying attention? Are we not listening? Do we no longer care?

I think it’s time we made our voices heard. One need not stand on a picket line to be heard, though it is a good way to get a point across. Letter writing is another way – put the power of words to good use; get involved with organizations that support your beliefs, help them get their message out. Whether you’re vehemently opposed to doctor assisted suicide; whether you’re in support of gun control or pro-life organizations; maybe you’re passionate about saving the planet…do something to aid a good cause. Our right to vote is a privilege that gives us a voice and so many disregard this very powerful tool. When we sit around and lament the state of the world, yet take no responsibility; take no action to change things; when we remain silent, we are a part of the problem. Be part of the solution.

pebble 3Lent is coming. Let’s make a commitment to get involved in one of the many ways we can help to change the world in a positive, faith-filled way. A pebble dropped into a pond ripples outward and onward – be that pebble.

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Catholic Faith God Lent Patience Prayer

Get Spiritually Fit

I got a Fitbit for Christmas – doesn’t just about everyone have one? I was home for several days over the holidays and it praised me constantly for my many steps, my calorie burn, my determination! Since I’ve been back to work I’m getting constant reminders…gentle nudges…little zaps, actually, telling me to get up and get moving. It got me thinking.

What if we were all equipped with a Spiritual Fitbit? Wouldn’t that be something? If we were sent gentle reminders…nudges…zaps from above, telling us to get moving, praying, reading scripture, attending Mass. I like the idea and I wish someone would create something to help us in this way. But wait a minute, someone has created a way to reach us and remind us to get spiritually fit. God the Father sent us Jesus, his son, then came the Holy Spirit; we have priests in our midst, guiding us with their homilies and reflections; we have Sacred Scripture and the Sacraments; there are books galore that can lead us closer to God and strengthen our faith.

But don’t you feel that you still need that little zap from time to time? What about when our thoughts and actions are not exactly Christ-like, wouldn’t a gentle reminder be helpful – a vibration, a jolt, something to wake us up to the fact that we have gone off track? Whispers of unkind gossip (zap), annoyance at fellow drivers (buzz), losing our temper with our spouse (zap, zap). And, of course, it’s not only in our thoughts and in our words and what we have done – but the one that trips me up every time – in what we have failed to do. That’s when I most need a zap – get up and help that person, go over and offer kind words, friendship, assistance – get moving.

At this time of year, most of my physical fitness is done on a treadmill – a lot of time and effort getting nowhere fast. I feel the birds visiting the feeders outside my window in the early morning are giving me a smug look – silly fool, can’t she see she’s not getting anywhere?

Let’s not run a spiritual treadmill – going through the motions with no progress in our faith. Lent will be here before we know it, so let’s get spiritually fit now, in Ordinary Time. That way we’ll get farther along on our Lenten journey with fewer zaps and jolts.

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Catholic family Joy love Social Awareness

The Gift is in the Giving

Last Saturday, when our family gathered to celebrate the American Thanksgiving, I sat down with three of my four grandchildren to look through the Chalice Christmas Gift Catalogue. This is not like the old Sears Christmas Wish Catalogues of the past. Since my grandchildren were very small, I have given gifts to third world countries through Chalice, in their names. Chalice is a wonderful Canadian Catholic Organization through which many in our parish have sponsored children, to help with their education, with food and clothing. Each year they send out a catalogue with everything inside from animals, crop seeds, farm tools, and school supplies, to blankets and mattresses.

When the grandkids were little, it was important to instill in them the notion that not every child had what they had; not every child had enough food to eat, proper clothing to wear; not every family had the means with which to provide these things.

I thought of this on Saturday as the three, aged 11, 10 and 8, had a lively discussion as to what gifts would provide the greatest means of support for a family. In the past, I did most of the talking and they would nod their heads in agreement. This time they looked through the catalogue and gave their own opinions. They all agreed that animals were the best choice – a pair of goats over a donkey, because a pair would give you baby goats to sell, they would give you milk and cheese, providing food for the family, as well as a livelihood. We also looked at other options – helping an orphanage, they loved that idea too, and crop seeds were an inexpensive gift that we could add to the list.

My heart was bursting when we wrapped up our discussions, circled our choices and concluded our session. They truly understood what we were doing, how we were making a difference and I could see in their faces the joy of giving from the heart and giving with love.

The things we do with our little ones – children and grandchildren – makes an impact; it leaves an impression and plants a seed in the heart. I look forward to next year when these three will help their little cousin to make equally good choices. He’s two and wouldn’t sit still this time, but next year we will till the soil and plant the seed.

Love in Action Margery Frisch

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Faith family God Joy love Prayer Trust

Spend Some Time with Kids

Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. (Mt 19.14, Lk 18.16)

So often, we adults, in our conversing , can drag each other down with the weight of the world, with the negativity of our words. I can’t take too much of that. I have to walk away. Yes, I know the world is in a terrible state, and perhaps there’s reason to despair, but we cannot move forward and grow when we’re dragged down so. I’m the perennial optimist, I believe firmly that prayerful positivity will get us through. God has never, nor will he ever abandon us. So get out of that negative rut. Go spend some time with happy, fun-loving, trusting children.

I did that just last week – spent the weekend with three of my four grandchildren, the three oldest. We began with a trip to Toronto, getting lost, as Grandma is wont to do.

“I didn’t know people in Toronto were so nice,” said my 10 year old granddaughter, when a gentleman in a pickup truck let me go ahead of him, seeing, no doubt, the look of absolute panic and confusion on my countenance.

We were in the city for a performance of Cirque du Soleil, and I would venture to say, the magic of this show is best enjoyed through the eyes of children. They were mesmerized, they were awestruck, enthralled and oh-so-grateful. They thanked me at least a dozen times each. It was a delight for me to experience the show through the wonder and joy of my grandchildren.

How do we go from wonder-filled, joyful children to skeptical, distrusting adults? As faith-filled Christians, we must be doing something wrong, if we do not hold the wonder and joy of God in our hearts. How do we recapture that trust and wonder? The next time a group of adults is sitting around despairing over the state our country, our world, slip away, find a quiet spot – a church is best – and pray. Does that sound too simplistic? Perhaps, but, as Jesus says, the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

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coping Death Faith God Humor love Prayer Stength Trust

Who’s in Charge?

Last Saturday I was dusting the living room, when, on the table where the orchids stood, I found a card, just sitting there. It said, “Good Morning! This is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help, so enjoy your day.”

I looked up, I looked around. I don’t know where the card came from or how it got there (my husband was on a camping trip with our son and grandson, so there was no one to ask), but the warmth I felt from reading that card, was indescribable.

I promptly set down my duster, sauntered into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Basking in that warmth, I sipped my tea while reading a good book. In time I wandered back into the living room and looked around.

“Ah,” I said, looking heavenward, “my strong aversion to house-work is not one of those problems you were talking about. Deeper problems are more your concern. I get it.”

Still, those kind words had lifted me up and I did have that nice little respite with the cup of tea, so I was refreshed and ready to resume the task at hand.

How often do we forget who’s in charge? How often do we go through our days with lists of things we must do, people we must see, jobs we must complete, with no thought of God and what he has in mind for us?

Or, do you ever have this feeling? An overwhelming sense that you are doing God’s will. You get all puffed up with this thought, immersed in this sense of the Divine that you sit back, bringing your work to a standstill.  Well that’s not what God has in mind either. We may feel his commendation, his support, but he does expect us to get the work done.

The problems he offers to handle for us are the heavy ones, the burdens too heavy for us to carry alone. Over time, we begin to wonder how we can possibly get through – tragedies, illnesses, deaths of our loved ones…

“Good morning!” he says, “This is God. I will be handling all your problems today, I will not need your help, so enjoy your day.” If we sit in quiet contemplation, we will know this; we will know he is there, we will feel his presence. We don’t need a little card sitting on a table to remind us that God is always there for us. Still, a card from a loved one is always welcome, isn’t it? Enjoy your day.

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Bargaining coping Patience Prayer Trust

Let Go…

We’ve all heard that sage piece of advise…we’ve probably used it ourselves, to help someone working through difficult times.  But what does it really mean to us?  Often, when I’m fretting about something, I tell myself to ‘let go and let God.’  But do I really do that?  Do you?

It occurred to me recently, that I’m very selective about what I turn over to God.  ‘It’s ok,’ I might as well be saying, ‘I’ve got it now, I can take it from here.’  Really?  When I’ve got my head on straight, I realize that God does not do things in half measures, but you know what?  He’s not going to argue about it.  ‘You’ve got it?  Fine, go for it,’ is how I imagine him replying (probably with the tiniest smirk).  We’re like children, aren’t we, thinking we can do everything ourselves.  Picture a child carrying something far too heavy for their size and stature.  They’re stubborn though, insisting they’re big enough to carry their load…until the overwhelming weight of the thing stops them dead in their tracks, forcing them to admit defeat.  That’s us!  And it’s laughable, the way we think we can do everything for ourselves.  But, just as we are, or were, with our own children, God is patient with us.  Waiting for us to turn our minds and hearts back to him.  He’s there, always, to pick up the pieces and set us straight, once again.

So why fret?  Why struggle?  Why can’t we just let go…and let God direct the course of events with which we’ve been wrestling?  It goes along the same lines as the way we pray.  We pray for this and we pray for that, very specifically, instead of praying for the strength and courage to accept and follow God’s will.

“Act as if everything depended on you; trust as if everything depended on God,” said Saint Ignatius of Loyola.  Wouldn’t it just be so easy, uncomplicated and freeing to let God pilot our course?  I say this as if it’s the way I live my life.  Oh if that were true.  I will reiterate…I’m selective about what I let God pilot, and even then, I want to be co-pilot!  This is why prayer is essential to our wellbeing.  It centers us, puts us back on the right track with our Lord and helps us to see the bigger picture.  So, let’s think twice before we go to sit in that driver’s seat (so to speak) and defer to the one who truly is in control at all times.  We just might enjoy the ride.

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Faith family God Humor Listening love Mercy

Lessons Learned

I learned a valuable lesson on our recent holiday. No, it wasn’t that I should never trust Google Maps to tell me precisely how long it takes to get from point A to point B. I fall for that every time, and will probably continue to do so. And no, it wasn’t that I should give up fighting with my husband and the GPS when I think I know the right way to go. Where’s the fun in that?

No, the lesson I learned was a far greater one; a fault to which we all succumb, periodically, one we must continually guard against – judging.

We traveled to St. John, New Brunswick to attend the wedding of a young man I have refered to for decades as my ‘3rd’ son. We’ve known him since he and our oldest son were three years of age. Our son has been married for 13 years and has three children. My ‘3rd’ son has taken longer to find himself and longer still to find the one to share the rest of his life with. In his search, he has also ‘found God.’ Though we of strong Christian faith know God is never lost, for those who ‘find him,’ we can only rejoice.

I’ve kept up with my ‘3rd’ son’s progress in his faith on Facebook. Despite the teasing given him by many of his contemporaries, Devon has boldly displayed his joy and his faith on social media.

Frequently present in many of the postings, was the young minister who had helped Devon find his way. I didn’t like that guy. There was something about him I did not feel was sincere, and I worried for Devon that his faith would be built solely on this one person who might, at some point betray his trust. I told my sons who were astounded that I would be so judgmental of someone I had never met. I couldn’t help it. That was how I felt.

Well, don’t you just love God’s sense of humor? Can you guess who I found myself sitting beside at the reception? This young minister who had performed the wedding ceremony (he had done a beautiful job, I had to grudgingly admit). I was in the company of this man, his lovely wife and their two little girls. At first I was wishing to be any place but where I found myself. He immediately turned to me, introduced himself, his wife and his daughters and before the bride and groom cut the cake, I was smitten. This young minister had a love of life and an exuberance of faith that was indeed sincere. And the very act of meeting him taught me such a valuable lesson.

One of the problems with Facebook is how superficial much of it seems and is and it can skew our perceptions without our even being aware. I was quick to let my sons know how wrong my presumptions were and how wrong it is to make such baseless judgements. Though I may make many mistakes over and over again – like arguing with the GPS and planning an itinerary based on Google Maps determination of distance and time, I pray that God will continually bring my thoughts back to Devon’s wedding and the important lesson I learned there.

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Catholic coping Death Faith family God love Stength Trust

Love and Faith

Many years ago, the year after my brother-in-law died, my sister was visiting and when we got back to the house, I played a message that was left on the answering machine. It was from my son and he ended with, “I love you.” I looked at my sister, who heard the message too, “That,” I said, “has been happening ever since Jake died.” Tears immediately came to her eyes. Mine too.

Death touches us in many and varying ways. Our sons were in their early 20s when their uncle died. They’re in their late 30s now, they both end each phone conversation with, “Love you, mom.” And now their cousin has died. 10 – 11 years older than my sons, but the impact is great.

Amy’s funeral was at St. Mary’s church in Ayer, Massachusetts and the priest knew her well. His homily touched everyone – non-believers as well as the many congregants who came in shock and sorrow to say goodbye to a wonderful, giving and loving woman. Our sons were touched too. They, as so many did, commented on the priest’s homily.

‘God is love,’ he said, ‘and Amy lived that love that comes from God. Now Amy is gone and it is up to every one of us to fill that gap that’s left behind. All that she did; all the love that she gave; it’s up to us to fill that gap – to spread that love that she spread, wherever we can – in her honor.’ Our sons were listening, and they’ve taken those words to heart.

You know, we as parents do not have to preach, there’s really no need. We simply live our love and faith as best we can and let God do the rest. And do not think for a moment that God will not take care of things. Be still and know that I am God. Ps. 46.10